


What if...

by Catrastrophic



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coming Out, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Human Catra (She-Ra), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Lesbian Sex, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, POV First Person, Psychological Trauma, Self-Discovery, catradora
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:08:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 39,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26901166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catrastrophic/pseuds/Catrastrophic
Summary: They've been friends since they were kids, but one night Catra makes a statement that turns Adora's life upside down:"You should letmemake love to you."I nearly choked on my drink as I heard those words coming out of her mouth so easily, as if she was suggesting I tried some of the chips the waiter had just placed in front of us."EXCUSE ME?!"*Extra Warnings:* Explicit sex content in the second chapter [but it's not just sex, I promise].* Characters' personalities may differ from the original series.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 64
Kudos: 137





	1. What if...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written from Adora's POV.

"You should let  _ me _ make love to you."

I nearly choked on my drink as I heard those words coming out of her mouth so easily, as if she was suggesting I tried some of the chips the waiter had just placed in front of us.

"EXCUSE ME?!" 

My voice sounded way louder than I had intended, so much so everyone around us stopped what they were doing and looked directly at me. The chatter in the background ceased abruptly and some people's hands stopped in the air, leaving their food and beer midway to their mouths. It would be comical, like one of those lame comedy movies scenes, hadn't I been the center of attention. Now I was embarrassed for multiplus reasons, Catra being the main one. 

That awkward silence even made me think that if I dropped a toothpick, I would be able to actually hear when it hit the ground. Suddenly I wondered if the expression “to die out of embarrassment” had come up from a situation like this, because my cheeks were burning so much there was a chance my head would spontaneously combust.

I sank deep into my seat, trying to make myself disappear under the table. I heard rather than saw Catra chuckling at my expense, the sound of her laughter the only noise filling the place. After what honestly felt like an eternity, everyone resumed what they were doing and finally forgot about me. Everyone but Catra, who kept staring at me with an amused expression. 

I finally straightened myself, cleared my throat and tried to reboot my brain.

"That wasn't funny, Catra." I couldn't think of anything else to say, so clearly my brain hadn't properly restarted yet. "I could have died if I had choked."

"You wouldn’t die. I know how to do CPR," she shrugged and then gave me a fake sweet smile, “so I probably would save your life.”

_ Probably? _

I decided to ignore the last sentence so I could focus on the real matter.

"What were you thinking?! How could you say something like  _ that,  _ completely out of the blue?!" It was a normal conversation until that point, I'm pretty sure of it.   


"Actually, it fit the context."

"In what context could a sentence like that fit?!" I swear I was trying to keep my voice low, but Catra’s smirk told me I was failing. 

Ugh, that annoying little smirk… 

_ Wait.  _ Suddenly something crossed my mind and I snorted indignantly. "Wow. This certainly goes straight to the top of your ridiculous  _ Best Times I’ve Messed with Adora _ list, uh?”

That list really existed and unfortunately she made sure to update it regularly. This time, though, she had really outdone herself.

As she heard my comment, her smile began to fade and her expression turned strangely serious. After a moment of apparent contemplation, she spoke in a voice I could barely recognize. 

"This time I wasn't messing with you, Adora."

She stated, staring directly into my eyes. Catra never lied while staring into my eyes. My lips got instantly dry and my jaw dropped so heavily the joint could have even been displaced.

"You... weren’t...?" I didn't know if it had sounded like a question, as it was meant to be. 

"No... I meant what I said." 

Her eyes were still on mine, analyzing my every reaction and they were  _ so _ distracting… 

I shook my head and tried to pull myself together.

"Catra... You can't possibly be serious." 

“Well, but I am.”

I tried to remember what we were talking about so I could understand how the hell we had got into this conversation. Whatever it may have been, I could have just laughed and then changed the subject to something else. Anything else. So why didn’t I just do that? Catra had been touring with her band and we hadn't seen each other in months. She would leave tomorrow for another round of shows and we had barely started catching up when she dropped that bomb on me. 

"Adora..." She stretched her arm and touched my hand over the table, squeezing it lightly. My eyes followed her hand all the way and remained on it until she spoke again. "Just forget what I said, okay? You don't need to freak out about this."

"Who’s freaking out?! I’m not freaking out!" She raised an eyebrow at me, maybe because I had answered too fast and spoken an octave higher than I usually did.

Her hand was still caressing mine and I became acutely aware of how soft and delicate her touch was. 

"I just… I don't… I mean, why would you say such a thing? I can't even imagine what made you consider this… this..." 

Madness? Insanity? I seriously had no word for that. 

"Why not?" She snorted and let go of my hand, leaning back on the booth. "You are beautiful, Adora. Why is it so hard for you to believe someone could actually be attracted to you?"

Um. 

I was trying to come up with an answer, but my mind was too focused on the words  _ beautiful _ and  _ attracted to you. _ Did she really think I was beautiful? She had told me that before, sure, but in a whole different context. And then… did she really say she was attracted to me?  _ Me?! _

I’m not used to being praised in such a direct way, so honestly it was hard to believe she wasn’t just messing with my head. 

My bottom lip felt too heavy to remain connected to the upper one, so I just stayed there, ridiculously gawking at her.

"Look..." Catra broke the silence and that was a good thing, because my brain had short-circuited and my ability to speak had clearly been compromised. On the other hand, I had no idea of what she would say next and how it would affect me. 

So maybe she was right. Maybe I was really freaking out.

She waited until I gathered enough courage to stare at her face and so she went on. 

"It’s just that you were talking about your previous relationships and you looked so... upset. I hate seeing you like this because those assholes you dated couldn’t appreciate how amazing you are.”

_ My previous relationships…  _ So that’s what we were talking about before  _ this _ started? I lowered my head, surprised that she had misinterpreted my self-frustration as sadness, since Catra could read me like no one else.

I guess I couldn't blame her, though. I've never been good at expressing my feelings, especially when they concerned my practically nonexistent, though extremely pitiful, love life. I hated to talk about this with anyone, even with Catra, because I always felt something was wrong with me. At the same time, I didn’t know how to explain  _ what exactly  _ was wrong. It was only natural she couldn't get me when I myself couldn’t.

But to sum up, my relationships always followed this pattern: I would start dating a guy, things would work for a little while, but eventually they would realize they needed more than I could actually give. Or  _ wanted _ to give. I heard from them, more than once, that I was cold, disinterested, aloof, distant… the list goes on and on. And the worst part is that they were right. I wasn’t enough. But then… how could I be enough if I was never completely into it?

I tried to remember the last time I initiated a conversation because I found a guy interesting or the last time a kiss pulled any emotion out of me. Nothing came to my mind, simply because it never happened.

It was strange being 19 and having never fallen in love. All my friends had already gone through this experience and that only made me think I was… broken, perhaps? And for someone as perfectionist as me, failing miserably at what most people I knew succeeded was just too hard for me to handle. Then, so I wouldn’t be reminded of my personal failure, I always avoided to talk about relationships, especially when the conversation revolved around sex. 

Catra, on the other hand, was the opposite of me. She was bold, self confident, assertive. She knew who she was and what she wanted. Also, luckily for her, her family was the opposite of mine too. She had two moms, who totally supported her at anything she wanted to do, like coming out at 12, learning how to play the guitar during middle school and also getting a part-time job in a cheap café even though they were wealthy enough to give her anything she wanted. Needless to say, my stepmother hated Catra. She considered her a bad influence, someone who would only distract me from my goals - which were, in fact,  _ her _ goals, not mine. 

I was the nerd who only got A+ and compliments from all our teachers. Catra usually didn’t get anything above a B+; instead, she got a girlfriend at 15, a car at 16 and a spot on the coolest band of our town while she was still in high school. Even so, Catra was more of an introverted, like me. She hated all the attention she was getting, suddenly becoming one of the popular kids she so much despised. I used to call her  _ the punk-rock queen of the school,  _ only to see her cutely protesting against it.

But I wasn’t lying, Catra was the coolest girl I knew and lots of people seemed to agree with me. Girls flocked to her, like starving ants around a sugar cube. Boys would too, I suppose, but Catra never really paid attention to them. 

I was so proud to be her best friend, but I always wondered how someone so appealing like her could be friends with someone so uninteresting like... me. 

I was a mess, the typical girl raised by adults who had unrealistic expectations for her and ended up messing with her head real bad. I wonder if it would have been different, hadn't my real parents died when I was still very young. My uncle ended up raising me and he was actually really nice, but after a few years he got married to that manipulative bit-, I mean, that  _ woman _ and that was when everything began to change for the worse... It all happened so long ago, but those memories still hurt deeply. 

I definitely should start therapy, like Catra had suggested years ago.

“Adora?” Catra’s concerned voice broke the mental retrospective of my life - and most of  _ her _ life too. “I’m sorry. I guess I kinda ruined the mood...”

As if she could. 

“You never ruin the mood. You know you’ve always been the only person who could really cheer me up, especially when we were younger and I still lived with my step parents.” 

I tried to smile at her, but for the small frown that suddenly appeared on her face, I guess my smile wasn’t convincing enough. Probably those old times had flashed in her mind too, because she looked truly worried about me. But Catra knew if we got into that subject I would probably start crying a little. Or a lot. So, after a moment, she just smiled back and then started talking about some silly thing she knew it would make me laugh. 

This was probably what I loved the most about her. She never pushed me into talking when she knew I wasn’t ready and she always listened to me, all ears, when I was. She could also feel when I just needed her quiet presence by my side, instead of someone asking what was wrong every five minutes, like Bow and Glimmer. I loved those two, but they just didn’t get me like Catra did. Besides, Catra had witnessed most of my outbursts - including the worst ones - and she always knew how to handle me. 

I even lost count of how many times she picked me up in the middle of the night, after my step parents went to bed, just to take me for a ride because I felt too suffocated to breathe in my own house. At those times, we usually would go to the highest spot here in Brightmoon and just lie side to side on the hood of her car, talking about… whatever, while counting the stars. That was our secret place… and it’s still my favorite place in the whole world.

But at some point I started feeling bad, thinking I was holding her back, since my mere existence ended up ruining most of her relationships. Her girlfriends were jealous of me and, looking back, I think it was mutual. When she told me about her first girlfriend, I remember feeling like she had punched me in the stomach instead of just sharing some good news. I tried to smile and be happy for her, because that’s what friends do… yet, the fact Catra could be more interested in hanging out with someone else upset me terribly. I never told her, but after I left her house on that day, I cried all my way home and most of the night, until I fell asleep. 

But Catra didn’t stop hanging out with me. In fact, we seemed to become closer with each passing day. Her girlfriends would always complain she spent too much time with me, and with me alone, so either they would break up with Catra or Catra would break up with them.

One day I forced myself to tell her it was okay to spend less time with me, pretending that wouldn't bother me, so she could make some time for those girls. She laughed and then spoke in a more serious tone:  _ “Do you really think I would choose some random chick over you? Wow, you are dumber than I thought, Adora.”  _ I felt my heart flutter and I threw myself into her arms, hugging her tight. When she noticed I was crying, she ran her hands up and down my back, soothing me, and added.  _ “No one will ever stay between us. No matter what happens, it’s going to be you and me, until the end of the world." _

I still don’t know why I made her promise me that, but she did, without hesitation. And I did too. So I finally could breathe a sigh of relief, for I needed her so much in my life and I couldn’t bear the idea of staying away from her.

But life couldn’t be like high school forever. We grew up, I got into college and Catra had to spend most of the time on the road with her band. We still exchanged messages everyday and called each other at least twice a week, which helped a little… but, God, how I missed her talking and laughing and even teasing me while I could actually look at her face. 

She changed the subject again, now telling me about the contract they were about to sign. She usually wasn’t that talkative, but I sensed she was trying to distract me from whatever it was in my mind. It wasn’t working though, I was only mildly aware of what she was saying. Good thing she had already told me about this over the phone a couple of days ago. 

So instead of listening to her every word, I was doing something I couldn’t do regularly: paying attention to her every detail. The way she tilted her head while talking, her smile with only one side of the mouth curling up. The way she leaned on her hand, narrowed her eyes and lowered her voice, secretively telling me she had found out three members of her band were in some sort of relationship. I chuckled when she playfully glanced at both sides, as if checking if someone had overheard her, even though she knew the place was about to close and we were the only customers in there.

I took a look at my watch, realizing it was already past midnight. I hated how time flew when we were together. We would have to say goodbye soon, so I tried to focus on her laughter to distract me. As she noticed I was watching her, she smiled and slowly blinked at me, once. I never mentioned she used to do this when she was talking to me, afraid she would stop if she ever became aware of it. I loved how endearing and spontaneous and exclusive that gesture was. She never did that while talking to anyone but me. It was silly, I know, but that always made me feel special for some reason.

She reached for her glass of sparkling water, dripped a few more drops of lemon and finished it. I had told her to come by taxi, so she could have a beer - I knew she loved the beer they served here - but she insisted on picking me up with her car. My stepmother always said Catra was some sort of  _ transgressor, _ but Catra never drank and drove, not even when we were younger and stupider. I couldn’t say the same about that woman, though. 

This reminded me of the day I asked Catra why she hadn’t sold her car, since now she could rarely use it. She shrugged and said:  _ “When I drive it, it makes me feel like we are 16 again.” _ I smiled, for I felt that way too whenever we were together in it. It hadn’t been so long ago, but our lives had changed so much since then… 

“Shall we go?” Catra asked, opening her bag and putting some money on the table, enough for paying for the both of us.

“No way. This one is on me! You know it's my turn!” I protested, but she just walked past me, heading to the exit. 

“Really? You should have said it first then.” She snickered without looking back. "Try not to be the slowest person in the world and maybe next time is on you, princess."

I should have known she would do that. She always did that. I gritted my teeth and made a mental note to be faster next time. 

“Catra!” I grabbed my purse and followed her. “Wait!”

###### 

The pub wasn’t far from the apartment I shared with Bow and Glimmer, so I felt my heart clench at the realization we were running out of time and Catra wouldn’t be back for the next few months. The next shows would be far from here and, after that, they would start recording their first album. When she shared the news, she looked as happy as on the day she bought that car with her own money. I couldn’t actually see her when she told me about the contract, since we were over the phone and miles away, but she was talking in that same excited way she did when we were kids, so I could easily picture her. 

We were getting near my neighborhood and suddenly the weird talk we had earlier stirred in my mind. I hadn’t actually let it go, just pushed it back so we could enjoy the night, but for some reason I felt like we needed to talk about that. Catra had long changed the subject and was acting as normal as ever, so I had no idea of how to bring it up without making it weird. 

“You okay?” She asked, glancing at me, her hands still on the steering wheel. “It’s not like you to stay quiet for so long.”

“Y-Yeah, sure… I am… I’m good.” 

She laughed. “You  _ so _ are not.”

“Then why do you ask me, if you don't believe me?!”

I could see her rolling her eyes, even though they were fixed on the road. 

“You stuttered and hesitated. Besides, you’re bouncing your feet and playing with your fingers. So either I know you too well or you are a terrible liar. Probably both.”

She chuckled and, soon after that, she stopped the car in front of my condo, unbuckled the seatbelt and sat in a way she could face me. Her eyes lingered on mine and she seemed to be studying me, which only made me feel more nervous.

“What's wrong, Adora?” This time she sounded so concerned it made my throat tighten. 

I didn’t know why I was feeling the way I was. I think when Catra made that  _ comment _ earlier in the evening, it must have triggered something in me and I just couldn’t stop mulling over that.

I dropped the stare to my hands on my lap and then I asked quietly. “I know you have to go to the airport early in the morning, but do you think you could come in for a while?”

“Yeah, of course.” I knew she would never say no, but she looked somewhat hesitant. “Is it really okay if I come in? I mean, it’s late, so Bow and Glitter are probably sleeping…”

“You mean  _ Glimmer?”  _

“Yeah, but  _ Glitter _ sounds way more fun!” She giggled and I gave her a face, even though I thought it funny too. Actually, Glimmer was the only one who hated that  _ alternative yet affectionate way to pronounce her name, _ Catra’s own words.

“They are not home tonight.” I answered, trying to disguise my newly found panic at the idea of being alone with her.

“Okay. So let’s go then.”

###### 

We got out of the car and I started to feel the tension building up on me. We had been alone countless times before, but this time it felt... different. There was something lingering in the air, something that wasn’t here before. Or maybe it was and I just hadn’t noticed it - perception clearly wasn’t my best feature.

We got inside the building and took the elevator to the 6th floor, both remaining silent. As for me, I was too focused on finding a proper way to ask what I wanted to ask, but Catra was probably quiet to avoid unnecessary noise late at night.

As I picked up the keys in my purse and aimed for the keyhole, I noticed my hand trembling almost imperceptibly. If Catra had noticed it too, she didn’t say a word. So I opened the door for her and she walked past me, the smell of her perfume immediately traveling through my nostrils straight to my brain. Her wavy hair then brushed lightly against my arm and I inhaled deeply, trying to calm myself, but that only made me become more aware of her scent. 

I hated how everything about her seemed to be extra affecting me tonight. I wasn’t used to being nervous around her.

Usually we would hang out in my room, but Catra put her bag on the armchair and sat on the couch, motioning for me to sit next to her. Since she knew Bow and Glimmer were out for the night, she had probably presumed we could talk in the living room. 

I froze in place for a moment and then forced myself to move, feeling like a child who was about to get the scold of her life. It was irrational, I know. I was the one who needed an explanation, not her.

“What is it... Adora?” The way she said my name after a brief pause, using that husky voice of hers, made it hard for me to start. “This is because of what I said earlier, isn't it?”

Thank God she had brought it up, because I don’t think I could. I nodded, my head low. I wanted to stare at her in the eyes, but I didn’t feel confident enough to do so.

“I’m sorry." She went on and I could sense a pang of remorse in her tone. "I shouldn’t have said anything. I thought you would laugh and call me silly, then you would just forget about it…” With my head low, I could see she was fiddling with her fingers, probably a bit nervous too. “If I knew you would be so upset about it, I would've kept my mouth shut.”

That would have been better… right? So why the more I thought about this crazy idea, the more I found myself into it?

"But you really mean what you said?" I asked, even though I thought insisting on this could be a huge mistake.

"Yes..."

“You also said…” My voice came out weak, so I had to restart. “You said I was beautiful…” 

That was not the main point, I don’t even know why I mentioned that. 

“Because you are.”

“And that…” God, this was getting harder at each second, “that you… were  _ attracted _ to me or something?”

I steeled myself. I needed one of her honest answers now, like I never did before, so I looked at her eyes. She seemed... surprised. Maybe she wasn’t expecting a straight question like this. I know I wasn’t, and I was the one who asked it.

She lowered her head and parted her lips, but as if recalling I needed her eyes on mine when we talked about serious stuff, she lifted her face. 

“I was… attracted to you.” Then she added, more quietly. “Still am.”

I think my heart skipped several beats at that admission. Her words remained pounding repeatedly in my ears, making it hard for me to reason, so I decided to ask the most obvious question.

“Since… when?” 

“Since... always, I guess?” She chuckled, halfheartedly. “You were just too dumb to notice and I… I was too scared to tell you.”

_ Since always?!  _ How come I've never noticed it?! 

“You could have told me…” I mumbled, my heart shrinking in my chest. Instinctively I reached for her hands, feeling the need to touch her. The tips of her fingers had callouses for all the guitar playing, but her hands were soft, so soft. “You should have told me.”

“It wouldn’t have changed anything." She shrugged with a sad smile. "I knew nothing would ever happen between us. But it’s okay, Adora. I think most lesbians have a crush on a straight girl at some point in their lives.” 

_ Straight girl…  _ Was I really… straight? 

Now, thinking of the way I always felt about Catra and my lack of interest in men… thinking of how jealous I was of her girlfriends and how I just couldn't stand the idea of being away from her... and combined with how I couldn't let go of what she said at the pub… I finally let myself think that maybe… maybe I wasn't as straight as everyone - including me - thought. 

I was shocked and paralyzed, as if I had been thrown out of a plane without a parachute on. My whole life was flashing before my eyes and... how could I have been so blind?! It was obvious I didn't like men. I never felt comfortable with them, never felt attracted to them.

But at the same time, I had never felt attracted to girls either. Maybe because no girl I knew was as cool as Catra. They weren't nearly as funny and interesting as her either - but then, no one was. So Catra was the only girl I wanted to spend my time with… the only girl who made me laugh and who knew how to comfort me… the only girl with eyes so warm, the mismatched colors reminding me of the blue sky and the yellow sand on a sunny day at the beach... the only girl I wanted to hug and hold hands and-

Oh… 

It dawned on me and suddenly I was knocked off my feet. Was it possible that I never considered I liked girls because I have been in love with _ the same girl _ for all my life, without even noticing it? 

God… Catra is so right... I'm such an idiot!

"Still..." I mumbled, while trying to remember all the signs my dense self missed or unconsciously decided to ignore back then.

Catra has always treated me differently, indeed. She was known for her aloof behavior and acid comments. More than once, girls who liked her came to me, asking what I had done to break down her walls. But I didn't do anything… I guess I was just lucky she liked me. 

“You were my best friend, Adora. I was afraid this would mess up with our friendship… afraid that you would start, like, avoiding me because you didn't feel comfortable around me anymore. If things got too weird, I would lose you. And I couldn't let that happen."

"You would never lose me! Catra! I would never start avoiding you...” But what would I have done in her place? Honestly, had I been in her shoes, I would probably have done the same thing. “You helped me get through life… well,  _ hell  _ would be a more appropriate word. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. It hurts me to know that you spent years thinking I could just turn my back on you..."

"I know... I should have told you years ago. But back then, I just thought I'd rather having you in my life only as a friend than not having you in my life at all."

I felt my eyes watering and tried swallowing the lump on my throat. 

"What made you change your mind, then?" She looked at me as if she hadn't understood my question. "Why did you decide to tell me tonight?"

Catra paused for a moment and untangled our hands so she could run her fingers through her hair. She always did that when she felt nervous.

"I let it slip." She said simply and then gave me a fake innocent smile. "You had just told me you thought you were an acephalous and-"

"Asexual, Catra." I corrected it even though I didn't need to. Witty comments and teasing were her specialty, and Catra always resorted to them when she wanted to lighten the mood or distract her target. 

She smirked and went on, but earnestly now. "Anyway, when you told me about your relationships and how much  _ not feeling anything _ bothered you… well, that bothered me too, to the point I ended up voicing my thoughts out loud. And then… when you asked me if I had been serious... I couldn’t lie to you."

I knew we were talking about my relationships before she turned my world upside down with that only sentence, but I had forgotten we were talking  _ specifically _ about sex. My frustration probably had reached its peak to make me talk about this subject. 

"You would hate it." I averted my eyes. Catra was way more experienced than I, plus I had never, ever, been with a girl before. I'm pretty sure I would be a disaster. Not to mention I was nearly impossible to please, which would certainly be frustrating for her. And of all people in the world, Catra was the last person I wanted to disappoint. "I'm not good at this... It would probably be the worst experience of your life."

She raised my chin and I saw her shaking her head in response to what I had just said. 

"Why do you think so low of yourself? For what you've told me, these guys have no idea of how a woman should be treated and they never really paid attention to your needs. In fact, I never understood how you could settle for those losers." She paused, sounding almost annoyed. "You deserve so much more, Adora. You deserve nothing less than a night of undivided attention from someone who truly cares about you."

Um.

I felt my cheeks heating up again. 

"Obviously, it doesn't have to be me…" she added, quietly, "but definitely it has to be someone who loves you, who cares for you, who will be considerate to your feelings... Someone who's willing to learn how you need to be touched… and that will make you feel like you mean the world to them, like you are the most precious thing in their life..."

As her words tried to heal my broken self-esteem, I watched her moving lips. They seemed to be softer than her hands on mine, warmer than her eyes on mine. 

I let myself wonder if what she was saying could actually be true. Maybe my love life has been a disaster because I have been insistently searching in the wrong places when all I ever wanted, all I ever needed, was here all the time, right in front of my eyes.

But the possibility of something happening between us scared me. Catra had always been my haven, the one and only I always turned to. I had other friends now, but none like her. No one is like her. No one knows me or cares for me like Catra does. 

And as she described the person with whom she thought I should be, the only person I could think of was actually... her. 

"What if I said yes?" The question was out of my mouth before my brain could even register it.

She looked at me as if I had spoken in a foreign language. 

"Adora..." She opened her mouth, but nothing came out after she whispered my name. I guess this was the first time I saw Catra really at a loss of words. 

She ran her hand through her hair again and got up from the couch, too agitated to remain sitting. I followed her, my breath caught in my throat as I waited for her answer. 

"I can't do this…  _ we _ can't do this, Adora… I mean, you haven't thought things through-"

"I have. But there's just one more thing I need to ask you." I cut her off, though unintentionally. "When you told me I should let you  _ make love  _ to me…" I probably blushed as I repeated her words, but I forced myself to go on anyway, "why didn’t you say  _ have sex, _ instead? You never phrased it like this, it was the first time I actually heard you say _ make love. _ ”

And it was the first time I saw her face looking so flushed. I felt relieved I wasn't the only one blushing profusely right now.

“Isn’t it obvious?” She was staring at the ground with an uncharacteristic yet cute shy smile, and then she looked back at me.  _ "Having sex  _ didn't feel like a suitable expression. With you, it would never be just  _ sex." _

My heart fluttered and I don't know what came on me, but I found myself taking a step forward and caressing her cheek with my knuckles. I looked at her mismatched eyes, saw the confusion in them, then I stared down just a little. Her lips were trembling slightly, shallow puffs of air escaping through them. It was as if we had changed places, because she looked so hesitant and I felt so... bold.

"So what if I said yes?” I repeated my question, but she just stared at me again, wordlessly. I decided to rephrase it so as to leave her no doubts. “What you suggested earlier… what if I said I want it?"

She immediately raised her eyebrows, startled. I knew why she was so stunned. I rarely said what I wanted so objectively. My step parents always imposed on me what they thought was better and so I grew up, unconsciously thinking that I had no saying in my own life and that I should do what would make  _ them _ happy. Catra had pointed that out to me one day, years ago. Until then, I had never really noticed how submissive I was. That clearly annoyed Catra, so from that moment on she made me choose everything we would do for a month in row, every movie we would watch, every café or restaurant we would go to. She said I needed to practice deciding things on my own and so I grew a little more confident into voicing what I wanted - at least to her.

“Do you…” she frowned, as if finding it hard to believe, “do you really want me to…?” 

My body was trembling a little, but I managed to keep my voice steady and my eyes on hers.

“I do.” 

I think she finally began to accept it was true, because her lips gradually curled into a smile I had never seen before in her face.

She got closer, still with a slightly perplexed expression, and touched my cheek with the tip of her fingers, as if to make sure I was really standing in front of her and saying those things. Then she slowly tangled her fingers in my hair, gently yet firmly keeping me close to her. That sent shivers down my spine and goosebumps all over my skin, like the place had suddenly froze, though I didn’t feel any cold. In fact, I had never felt my body as warm as it was now.

Catra’s closeness made it hard for me to breathe and I felt my knees weaken at her touch. Her perfume intoxicated me, making me dizzy. I needed to focus on a fixed point to keep my balance and so my eyes found her mouth, but it didn't help, for her lips weren't still… they were moving towards mine. I had to remind myself I needed oxygen, because I was so enthralled by Catra that my body apparently had forgotten how to perform even its basic involuntary functions. 

She tilted her head to the side and raised her chin, compensating our height difference. My stomach seemed to have embodied an Olympic gymnast who had started practicing their routine in my belly. I gasped as those new sensations overwhelmed me, taking over me and making me feel like a foreigner in my own body. 

The bridge of her nose brushed lightly against the tip of mine as Catra aligned our mouths. As if checking if it was really okay to proceed, she looked deep into my eyes one last time before she closed hers and also any existent distance between us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to make it clear: I by no means tried to portrait Adora as a bisexual. She's a canon lesbian and I couldn't be happier about it.  
> In this AU, it just took her a while to figure herself out. That's it.
> 
> And yeah, I do believe Catra would have been this nice had she been raised in a healthy environment.
> 
> Any thoughts? Let's talk.


	2. I said yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said there would be some explicit sexual content? Well, here it is.
> 
> This is also from Adora's POV.

I thought my world had turned upside down when Catra made that comment earlier at the pub, but what did I know then? Now that moment resembled a light breeze compared to this whirlwind I was experiencing while she kissed me.

At first her lips touched mine cautiously, as if she wanted to dive into a pool but had to put her toes in water first to make sure it was warm enough. Then I felt her hands bringing me even closer to her and I responded by wrapping her by the waist, amazed by how perfectly she seemed to fit in my arms.

I had never kissed someone shorter and slimmer than me, but it didn’t bother me. Actually, it felt so… nice. I must confess when I found myself seriously considering her proposal, I thought it would be somewhat weird... I mean, Catra was my best friend, the person I would trust with my life… and then suddenly her lips were on mine, her body pressed against mine? But from the moment it all started, all my worries began to fade and I could only feel and breathe and taste her. 

She parted her lips, letting me in, and I could hear her moan quietly as we deepened the kiss. Knowing I was pulling those reactions out of her made me feel something I had never felt before, and so I wanted… more. More of her, more of this, more of everything. I tried not to think of my lack of experience so my insecurities wouldn't get in the way.

As the kiss went on, I felt Catra frowning against my skin. I wondered if it resembled the way she frowned when she did something she really loved, like playing the guitar or listening to her favorite songs… or even tasting something she found delicious.

I smiled at the thought it could be the latter.

She pulled away just a little and, still with my eyes closed, I instinctively tried to follow her lips with my own. 

I couldn't reach them, so I slowly opened my eyes and blinked a couple of times, dazed. She stared at me and I could see she looked a bit tense, like she was about to hear some bad news and was just waiting for the bomb to drop.

But the only thing that dropped was my stare from her eyes to her mouth. As if in a trance, I saw myself touching her lips with my fingertips, completely allured by what they had just made me feel. 

"Adora..." I had never heard her calling my name with such yearning. I was already on my way to kiss her again, when she stopped me. "Adora, wait."

I lifted my face and then I noticed she was panting with eyes fixed on me. Her hair was messy and her lips slightly swollen, stained with my lipstick. She had never looked so beautiful in her whole life.

"Mm?" I asked almost distractedly, finding it hard to focus on anything else.

She was gently holding the collar of my dress and let it go so she could cradle my face. She stared at me and her hands came to rest on my neck, below my ear, the movement done with some effort. Only then I realized my hands were keeping her too close to me, restricting her. 

I didn't let go, though.

"Don’t you think this is going too fast?" She asked, clearly concerned. "I mean, I don't want you to do anything you will regret later."

_ Regret? _ No, I would never regret it. Even if only for one night, I needed to know what it felt like to be with someone I really cared about. Someone who could actually make me feel loved, safe, desired… all at the same time. Someone for whom I really craved. 

So even if only for one night, I wanted to be hers and I wanted her to be mine.

"I won't regret it." I reassured her as my hands went from her back to her collarbone, and then to the sides, partially removing her leather jacket. 

She gasped, staring back at me as if she couldn't recognize me. I myself couldn't. But it felt so right, kissing and touching her, so I just couldn’t hold myself back. Didn’t want to, in fact.

We knew each other so well, but it was like we were meeting for the first time. This was a whole new situation, one we weren't familiar with, at least not with each other. I caught myself wondering what else I would find out about her, all the details of her body, all the new reactions I would witness.

"Stay with me tonight." I guess it sounded like an order when it was meant to be an invitation. 

She stared deep into my eyes, the colors becoming almost imperceptible as her pupils dilated.

"Is that really what you want… Adora?" She asked in that husky voice and that, combined with the eager look in her eyes, made my insides twirl. 

"What I really want… is you." Again, the words escaped me before I could stop them.

My statement seemed to have turned a switch on Catra, because the shy version of her suddenly vanished, making room for the Catra I knew. 

Without breaking eye contact, she completely removed her jacket, tossing it aside. 

She took a step forward, getting close to me, and whispered in my ear. “Then turn around.”

I blinked at the unexpected request, but I trusted her blindly so I did as she said. 

“Just tell me to stop and I will, okay?” She asked from behind, her lips brushing on my earlobe. ”I need you to promise me you won’t do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.” 

She knew I used to put other people’s needs before my own, so I thought it was sweet of her, to worry that much. 

“I promise.”

The corners of her lips curled up against my skin and her hands slowly moved from my waist to the base of my neck.

I startled as I noticed she had just begun unzipping my dress. She paused for a moment, though, as if waiting for me to stop her. Without saying a word, I just closed my eyes and nodded, feeling the anticipation building up in the pit of my stomach.

Catra hummed and, as she finished unzipping the dress, I thought she would immediately remove it. Instead, she let it hang open on the back and undid my ponytail. My hair was down now, covering my shoulders, and I shivered as I felt Catra’s fingers lightly brushing my skin and tossing my hair to one side. 

I saw my chest rise and fall when the palm of her hands spread over my shoulder blades and then ran to the sides. As if in slow motion, my dress slipped from my body and fell to the ground, leaving me only in my underwear. I glanced down, hoping it was decent enough, since I obviously wasn't expecting anyone to see me naked at the end of the night. 

As I realized my back was bare, I immediately tensed. Without my clothes on, I knew Catra would be able to see—

Yeah, for the light touch on them, she had seen the scars on my back. I exhaled heavily and my jaw clenched, for I really didn’t want to think about this right now. Catra had already seen the wounds years before and made me tell her exactly what had happened. Apart from me and my stepmother, Catra and her moms were the only people who knew who had hurt me.

Before I started to tear up, I felt Catra’s lips on my back, kissing the scars tenderly. She made no comments - I knew she wouldn’t - but her kisses showed me that she acknowledged my pain and that she cared. It was such a loving, unexpected gesture and it really moved me. 

Soon her kisses went up to my nape, pushing aside any thoughts unrelated to her. As she heard me moan, Catra let out a soft exhale, the hot puff of air tickling my ear and making me shudder. 

I tilted my head back, leaning on her shoulder. Her hands were on my hips and suddenly her name came out of my lips when I felt her fingers moving up until her thumbs found the base of my breasts. 

She was holding me close, my back pressing against her front, and then I realized she still had her clothes on. I turned around in her arms and, with our eyes locked, my shaky hands proceeded to undress her. When she noticed what I was doing, she smiled and helped me remove her crop top. I flushed, but didn't avert my eyes from her.

Catra had to get rid of her combat boots before taking off her ripped jeans, so she took a step back, her eyes never leaving mine. She crouched in front of me and removed the boots, then stood up and bent down again, this time taking her jeans down with her.

As she got back to her feet, I could see her like I had never seen before. She had changed clothes in front of me countless times, of course, but this was completely different. Now I wasn't just glancing furtively at Catra in her underwear - I was ogling her and feeling my own body strongly react to what I was seeing. My throat was so dry and my heart was pounding so hard against my chest I think Catra would even be able to hear my heartbeat from where she stood.

And her body was just… amazing, really. Her thin waist perfectly highlighted the curves of her hips and breasts. As I imagined my hands running over her, exploring her, I blushed to the point even my ears started to burn. Honestly, I was beginning to think my face would never return to its normal color ever again.

Catra took a step forward, getting closer and again kissing me unhurriedly. This time, it felt like a whole new experience, since the absence of clothes significantly increased my sensitivity.

I think I was so enthralled by the kiss I only noticed we were close to a wall when my back touched it. The contrast between its coldness and my burning skin startled me and, unwittingly, I broke the kiss.

"The wall... is cold." I explained before she even asked. Easily, she turned me around in her arms and pressed her body against my back, not too hard so I wouldn’t be pushed to the cold wall again but enough to warm me. Her hands caressed the outside of my thighs and I instinctively arched my body, trying to feel as much of her skin as I could. Now her lips were on my neck and one of her hands on my belly, while the other remained dangerously close to a place I was becoming more and more aware of. Catra seemed to be everywhere at the same time, confusing my senses, but I could feel her fingers between my breasts, holding the bra hook without actually unclasping it. I don't even know how or when she noticed my bra had its hooks on the front and not on the back. 

"Is it okay if I take this off?" She brought one hand to my chin, delicately tilting my face to the side so she could look at me. I guess she just wanted to make sure my facial expression matched my verbal answer.

"Yes." I breathed, feeling my body liquefy quicker than an ice cube in boiling water.

She kissed me from behind and, with only one hand, unclasped the bra hook. I must confess I was impressed - even  _ I _ needed both hands to take off that bra. 

Brushing the straps aside, Catra moved her body away just enough so she could effectively free my back from the lingerie. 

As her hands came to rest on my hips again, I found myself reaching for them and slowly guiding them to cup my breasts. She stopped breathing for a moment, probably shocked by my unusual boldness, but then I felt her smile against my skin. At first, her touch was as soft as cotton candy, intensifying in response to the sounds I was unwittingly making. 

I leaned against the wall on my elbows, my head bending forward as I whimpered. At that moment, I realized I was pressing my thighs together, trying to suppress the need to be touched in a very specific place.

I turned around, panting, and leaned my back against the wall. My hands and elbows had probably warmed it up, because it didn't feel cold anymore.

Catra took a step back and stared at me, her eyes lingering on my now naked breasts, then running all over my body and back to my face. 

"God, Adora..." I had never seen that look in her eyes. "You are so…"

She didn't finish the sentence, just let the words linger in the air. But even though no one had ever stared at me the way she was now, I instantly recognized that look as desire.

I had been naked in front of other people only a few times and it always made me feel self-conscious. Not knowing what they were thinking would make me anxious and even more diffident than I already was. But with Catra… I could read her as if her emotions were literally written on her face. I knew when she liked or disliked something, when she was tense or relaxed, angry or happy. And now… now I had just learned what her face looked like when she was before someone she desired.

She was still one step away from me, but I wanted to feel her again, so I stretched my arms and brought her closer. My hands moved to her back and, almost as skillful as her, I unclasped her bra. As I watched her half naked body, my hand unconsciously made its way to her breast, caressing it lightly with the back of the fingers.

She closed her eyes for a brief moment and then opened them so she could watch me exploring a part of her body that I had never seen uncovered before. 

I never knew that touching another girl's breasts would feel so incredibly good. Actually, it wasn’t the feeling of touching them what enticed me the most - I had touched my own, so I knew how soft and delicate they could be. But seeing Catra react to my touch, her body shivering, her eyes shutting at the same time her lips parted…  _ that _ was what really fascinated me. 

I held her by the waist as she wrapped her arms over my shoulders. When we kissed, I let out a sigh as her naked breasts brushed against mine. I have no idea how long we stayed there, making out against the wall, but my senses suddenly sharpened as her right hand descended and her fingers danced over the waistband of my underwear.

She was panting, her eyes fixed on mine. I was already ready to beg for her to go on, when I noticed she was silently waiting for my consent. I smiled, then held her face between my hands and nodded, our lips grazing lightly as I moved my head.

Without taking her eyes off me, her fingers slowly made their way down, touching me under my panties for the very first time. I nearly cried when I felt her fingers slipping so easily over me and tried not to be embarrassed by how ready I was. 

Judging by the way her eyes widened and her breath was caught in her throat, I think she too was surprised to actually feel how much I wanted her.

"Adora..." My name escaped her lips, followed by a moan when she started to brush her fingers against the most sensitive part of my body. I wasn't even touching her and she seemed to be getting so much pleasure just from touching me, her eyes shut and a crease between her brows. Watching and hearing her only made my arousal increase, if that was even possible.

My hands curled into her hair and I eagerly pressed my lips against hers, desperately needing her to kiss me while I felt her fingers working on me.

But her hand suddenly stopped, making my body physically ache out of frustration. It was when I saw her shrinking in front of me, kneeling at my feet. From the ground, she stared up and slipped her thumbs under the waistband of my panties, slowly pulling it down. I gasped, but made no move to stop her. 

After she completed the task of leaving me completely naked in front of her, I thought she would stand up to resume what she was doing before. Instead, she remained where she was, held one of my legs and positioned my thigh over her shoulder. 

My jaw almost dropped. Was she really going to do  _ that, _ like  _ this,  _ kneeling at my feet?

I could only watch as she confirmed my suspicions, making my body almost collapse when her tongue started exploring me. I barely recognized myself by the unarticulated sounds that were repeatedly coming out of my mouth. I didn't even have time to be embarrassed, my head was already spinning and any coherent thoughts were just impossible right now. 

I had no idea if I was moaning too loud, so I tried to control myself anyway, hoping my neighbors were all sound asleep by that time. But my body seemed to have disconnected from my brain, refusing to obey any command and shaking awkwardly, as if it wanted to move but didn’t know which way to go. 

If Catra hadn’t been supporting me, I would have certainly collapsed to the ground. But she had noticed I was losing my balance, so she reached for one of my hands and entwined our fingers, her arm serving as a cane. It worked for a few minutes - or seconds, my sense of time had long since evaporated - but then I found myself unable to sustain my own weight, even with Catra's help.

“Catra…” I called her name and she looked up, narrowing her eyes at me. She didn’t stop, only slowed the pace. “The bed… take me… can’t stand...”

Somehow I managed to put those words together, hoping she would make sense of them. 

Thankfully, she did. She made her way up, her body pinning me to the wall, helping me stay on my feet. She kissed me and I widened my eyes in a mixture of wonder and curiosity as I tasted myself on her lips.

She noticed it and seemed to find it amusing. “Surprised to see how good you taste?”

I laughed, feeling a little less embarrassed than I thought I would be, maybe because my mind suddenly focused on the idea of tasting her just like she had tasted me.

“So… the bed, uh?” She asked, interrupting my thoughts.

“Yeah. Unless you plan on keeping me up on my feet all night…”

“Mm, I do plan on keeping you up... all night,” the way she uttered those words made me shiver, “but not on your feet.”

She then lifted one of my thighs to her waistline and raised one brow, inviting me to do the same with the other. 

“Oh, so you think you can carry me to the bedroom?!” I asked, teasingly. I was taller and certainly heavier than her. I should be the one carrying her, not the other way around. 

“I can carry my own equipment and it’s way heavier than you… princess.”

I yelped as she pulled me up and I instinctively wrapped both my legs around her back. She looked at me with a smugly expression that could have easily been mistaken by a sign with _ "I told you so"  _ blinking in neon. I chuckled and kissed her lips as she made our way to the bedroom. The  _ wrong _ bedroom. 

“Catra! Have you lost your mind?! You know this is Glimmer’s room!” I giggled, trying to chide her. “She will kill me if she finds out we defiled her bed!”

Catra let out a genuine laugh and changed course, going to the right place this time. “You are no fun, Adora. Did you know that?”

“Really? So why are you laughing like an idiot?” I raised one eyebrow at her, giving her my best smirk. 

“Because your dumb face looks funny from down here.”

I smacked her shoulder and she tried to throw me on my bed, but I was holding her tight, so both of us fell together, laughing like we did when we were kids.

It was so easy being with her… Even though we were naked in each other’s arms, even though my body was responding to hers in a strong, sexual way… I could still feel I was with my best friend. And we were talking, and laughing, and kissing, and touching. I had never been so comfortable like this with anyone and I never knew sex could be fun, actually fun, until tonight. Maybe that’s because this wasn’t just sex, like Catra had said. This was... something more.

“So… Where were we?” She asked, eyes narrowed mischievously.

“We were about to get you out of this…” I motioned to her panties and she stared at me with amused surprise.

“Really?” She smirked. "Then what are you waiting for?"

She lay on the bed next to me and the next thing I knew I was over her, grabbing the waistband of her panties and greedily pulling it down. I saw she was in no better state than I was when she touched me for the first time and that made me feel so… desired. To have this kind of effect on someone, and without even actually touching them… it was something I had never deemed possible.

I felt an irresistible impulse to touch her and my hand was already midway when Catra caught me by the wrist, preventing me.

“Who said it's your turn? I’m not done with you yet.”

What her voice was doing to my insides could be considered a murder attempt, but I definitely would press no charges.

Swiftly, she rolled over me, her thigh perfectly fitting between my legs. My eyes instantly shut when she started rubbing it against me, moving her body over mine. Again, I started to feel my knees weakening and my muscles melting, but thankfully I didn’t have to stand on my feet anymore. 

I let out a moan, watching through dazed eyes Catra reach for both my hands and entwine our fingers, pinning my arms at each side of my head as she quickened the pace, kissing me all along. The fact she was holding my hands while doing that felt so intimate and I could feel I was getting close to something, though I didn’t know exactly what.

The way our bodies were connected, the way she moved, pulling out the most intense reactions from me, the way she held my hands and kissed me… everything was driving me insane. I felt like Catra was braiding herself around my senses, making every inch of my body aware of her presence, til the point I couldn't distinguish where I ended and where she began.

I didn’t want her to stop - in fact, if she wanted to spend the rest of our lives doing only this, I would be totally okay with it - but she did stop. Before I could protest, her mouth moved to my breasts, where it skillfully remained for a couple of minutes, and so she resumed her descent until her head was between my thighs.

I probably cried out loud when I felt her mouth on me again, I’m not really sure, I wasn’t in control of myself anymore. Everything became blurry and confusing, as if I had drunk a bottle of vodka in one sitting. Somehow I managed to open my eyes and I saw hers fixed on me, watching me intently from where she was. I usually didn’t like when people stared, but something in Catra’s eyes, the way she was observing me… it actually turned me on.

This… was  _ really _ becoming unbearable. 

I felt like a marionette, my body squirming unwittingly while Catra used her lips instead of strings for controlling my movements. And so this pressure that had started building in my underbelly irradiated throughout my whole body, as quick as a lightning. Reflexively, I grabbed the bed sheets with both my hands, felt my back arch and my toes curl involuntary, and my head snapped back as my body imploded. The pleasure I felt lasted for God knows how long and I only knew it was over when the violent convulsions were replaced by light spasms.

When my soul finally returned to my body, I tried to crack at least one eye open to check on Catra, for I had pressed her head so tightly between my thighs I was afraid I had decapitated her. But I heard her humming, pleased, as she climbed over me, so thankfully she had survived. I brought my shaking hands to her cheeks to caress her, refusing to believe the wetness spreaded all over her face had been produced by me alone. She didn’t seem to mind, though.

“Hey Adora…” There it was. One eyebrow raised as she drawled my name, followed by that little smirk of hers. “Still think you are an asexual?”

“No…” I somehow managed to reply, even though breathlessly. “After tonight, I take that back.” 

Her smile went from smugly to fondly as she lay next to me, face to face. "There's nothing wrong with being asexual, but for what you told me… well, I had a feeling that wasn't the case."

"It's just..." I suddenly felt shy for what I was about to confess. "I had never managed to… I mean, not even with myself… so I thought… I thought I was… like, unresponsive?"

Catra frowned and then she parted her lips as she understood what I meant. "Oh."

"Yeah, that's why I assumed I was frigid or something. Maybe I just didn't like sex… I don’t know."

"I guess you worry too much, Adora." She caressed my cheek and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. "If you can't relax, then it gets hard to… you know. But when you are alone, it helps if you think of someone you are attracted to, or some situation that arouses you."

Mm. Those words reminded me of something and suddenly curiosity overcame me. 

"Hey Catra…” I tried to mimic the way she always called me. "So when you were alone in your room, have you ever, like, imagined you were there with… me?"

"What?!" I heard her surprised squeal, followed by a profuse blush on her cheeks. "I'm not answering that!" 

"Oh, but you just did!" I laughed, suddenly finding that very entertaining.

"Shut up!" She rolled over me and pinned me to the bed, but she was laughing too.

"I can't believe you used to fantasize about me!" I was torn between flattered and amused, but I definitely wouldn’t waste an opportunity to tease her. "Wow. How embarrassing for you."

"Just so you know, it was  _ not _ because I liked you. It's just that cute annoying little blondes are my thing. And you are a perfect example of a cute and  _ very _ annoying little blonde, so… One thing led to another. That's just it."

I gave her my best unimpressed face.

"Yeah, I do remember all of your girlfriends being annoying and also looking somewhat like-" And then it dawned on me. "Hey… the fact they were all blondes with light eyes was just a coincidence… right?"

There was a change in her, but I couldn’t quite describe what I saw on her face.

"It wasn’t." She admitted at last. "But I didn't notice it until my moms pointed it out to me. Sometimes it sucks when both your parents are psychologists who love analyzing you, you know?"

"Wait… so Scorpia and Perfuma knew?!”

"Yeah… they knew." Catra was still on top of me, but for the first time she avoided eye contact. "It wasn't something I did consciously. But I guess my moms were right. I only dated those girls because they somehow reminded me of… you."

My heart clenched as I saw her sad smile. Never in my life I had wished I could turn back in time like I did now. I would certainly do things differently, I would certainly allow myself to consider the possibility I didn't like Catra just as a friend, instead of desperately trying to be the perfect little girl my family had always expected me to be. 

"Tell me." I suddenly asked, reaching up to her face and guiding her eyes back to mine. "Tell me what you used to imagine when you were alone in your room.”

"Do you  _ really _ wanna know that?" She asked incredulously and I nodded in response. She tried to sound irritated, but I knew it was just a facade to hide her embarrassment. "Ugh, fine."

She paused for a moment, as if trying to pick a spot from where to start. 

"Mostly I would picture us on the hood of my car… or in my bedroom. And... that’s it.”

“Nooo!” I was practically whining. “I want to know in detail."

She snorted and after a moment of reluctance, she spoke. “We would be alone, of course, then our eyes would meet and... I don't know, maybe we wouldn't say a word and just feel drawn to each other, our lips slowly getting closer..."

"Like this?" I raised my head enough for my lips to brush slightly on hers. She gulped audibly, finally understanding my real intentions.

"Yeah, just like this..." Her voice sounded hoarse and her cheeks got redder, as if she had suddenly caught a flu. "Except that we wouldn't be naked on bed… not yet, that is.”

I was captivated, so I encouraged her to go on. "And then…?" 

"Then… we would kiss. It would begin slowly, but it would soon escalate--"

I pulled her to a kiss as she breathed the last word, doing it exactly as she had described. 

When we had to gasp for air, I took the opportunity to ask. "What else would we do? Besides kissing, I mean..."

For the slight tremble of her lips and her shallow breaths, I saw this was having quite an impact on her. I must confess I didn't expect to be so into it, because I'm usually not confident enough to do something like this. But I guess being with someone I really trusted changed everything.

"You would, uh… touch me… supposing you wanted to..."

"I certainly would." My breath quickened as I moved one of my hands, slow and deliberately running my fingers between her legs. She widened her eyes and I'm sure I would have seen her pupils dilate again if the lights were on. My eyes widened too, as I noticed how aroused she was. Watching her facial expression while I touched her was so fascinating… I never expected it to give me this much pleasure, to the point it felt like her hands were on me too.

My fingers brushed lightly against her most sensitive spot and I saw her shut her eyes. She began to move above me, her knees now at each of my sides as she straddled me, granting me full access to her. She raised her torso a little and reached for my free hand, cupping one of her breasts with it. It felt  _ so _ good that my moans instantly mixed with hers.

Still lying on the bed, I exhaled heavily, appreciating the image above me. Catra was riding my fingers, her breath completely uneven and her face contorting with pleasure. The way she was moving reminded me of a flame, flickering under my touch, so warm that she could almost burn my skin. At that moment, I thought she resembled a goddess and I tried to commit every detail of this scene into my mind so I would never forget. 

Catra whimpered and breathed my name. I swallowed hard, my lips and throat becoming incredibly dry and I found myself unable to take my eyes off her. All I could think was that I wanted her to feel exactly what I had felt a few minutes ago. 

"And then… what?" I panted, my eyes glazed over her. I needed her to give me my next command so I could do exactly what she wanted.

Catra slowed down a little and stared at me, bending her body and leaning on her forearms. 

"Now I would tell you..." She smiled against my lips, "that you can do  _ anything _ you want with me… princess."

As I heard that, I rolled over her, pinning her on the bed with the weight of my body. She gave a little squeal in surprise, but then she smirked under me and bit her lower lip. "Mm. Looks like I'm yours now… Adora."

I might have groaned as her words cast some sort of spell on me, making me turn into someone completely different from my normal self. I kissed her, hard, passionately, both of us panting and moaning all along. Maybe this is what people call  _ instinct,  _ because I just couldn’t control myself, my body was acting of its own accord. 

"Tell me what you wanna do with me." She panted in my ear. "Tell me, Adora."

"I wanna feel what is like to be inside of you." My mouth had been faster than my brain again, apparently a theme for the night. But it was a good thing. Had I stopped to think, I probably wouldn't have done half of this.

She stared lustfully at me, her lips slightly curling up. "Then do it." 

Again, I found myself unable to take my eyes off her and, finding my way in, I let two fingers slide, careful enough so as not to hurt her.

Catra moaned and groaned loudly, and at that very moment I understood just why she liked to stare while she touched me. Seeing what you could do to someone's body and how you could make them scream out of pleasure just with the tips of your fingers… it was just… indescribable.

She tangled her hands in my hair, keeping my face close to hers as I increased the pace. I could feel her inner muscles pulsing against my fingers, the space between the contractions decreasing more every second. And then, I remembered how much she had liked it when my fingers were teasing her on the outside but I didn't want to stop what I was doing now, I wanted to stay inside of her too. So it occurred to me that I could try and see if I was capable of doing both things at the same time, using my thumb. 

And so I did. As she felt both stimuli at the same time, she cried out my name and this instantly became my favorite way to hear it coming out of her lips. Her arms weakened and she let go of my hair, using both her hands to cradle my face. I matched her pace and tried to keep up with her, for I didn't want to risk changing the position when I could feel she was so close… 

I was mesmerized by all those feelings I could see reflected on her face. I watched her mismatched eyes becoming dazed before squinting and then closing as she cried my name again, louder this time. She moaned and whirled under me, her insides contracting repeatedly around my fingers. I realized I was moaning too, almost as loud as her, as I felt her body convulsing one last time, more violently now.

I was astonished at the fact I had almost climaxed with her without her even touching me.

I wanted to lie next to her, to hold and kiss her, but when I started positioning myself, she made a quick movement and entwined our legs, as if we were two scissors trying to cut into each other. She pushed her hips forward and brushed herself against me and I had to grab her bended knee so I wouldn't just collapse to the bed as a wave of pleasure suddenly hit me like a truck. 

I looked at her face, stunned, and saw she biting her lower lip again as she pushed forward one more time. If Catra had suggested this position instead of just throwing us into it, my first thought would probably be that it wouldn't work. But it was working. It was working real good.

I groaned as our fluids meld, impressed by how good it felt to glide over her.

She gave one more push, as if she was trying to start a car and had to turn the key a couple of times before she actually succeeded. But I got the command, so still holding her bending knee, I began to move and set a pace, watching her following me.

We kept moving like this, the pace naturally and gradually increasing. After a moment, I saw she arching her back and squirming under me, grabbing the sheets as she cried out. I was already so aroused after touching her, but feeling her, watching her come beneath me, hearing the sounds she was making and knowing exactly what she was feeling... that all sent me quickly to the edge and I almost collapsed with the force of my orgasm. 

I let my body fall next to hers on the bed. We both were panting, exhausted, and staring at each other. She touched my cheeks with her fingertips and slowly blinked in that unconscious way of hers. I felt my heart melt, just like the rest of my body had just did.

"Did this really happen?" She asked, smiling as if she really couldn't believe. "Or was it just one of my dreams about an annoying little blonde that I know?"

I was too tired to smack her, so I just snorted, making her chuckle at my expense. But I ignored that, because there was something I really wanted to ask.

"Was it... sufficient good for you? I mean, I didn't know what to do, had never done this before, so..."

"Are you kidding me?" Her eyes sparkled as she caressed my cheeks. "This was better than anything I could possibly imagine. And as you may know... I'm very imaginative."

"You are not saying this only to make me feel good, right?"

"No." She got closer, cupping my face in her hands and staring at my eyes the way she always did when she wanted me to know she was telling the truth. "No one has ever made me feel the way you did tonight, Adora.” 

"Really?" I felt a mix of happiness and relief as I heard that. "Same goes from me, but I guess you already knew it."

She grinned and kissed me, tenderly now. Then she lay on her back and opened her arms. I rested my head on her shoulder and my nose found the crook of her neck. I could still smell her perfume and it felt even better now, mixed with mine. 

She started to run her fingers absently through my hair and I was so, so tired, but I didn't want to fall asleep yet.

"I wish you didn't have to go." I murmured, feeling my heart clench at her imminent depart. I knew she probably wouldn't be here when I woke up. "I’ll miss you."

And I'd certainly miss her even more after tonight…

"Me too… It's not the same without your dumb face around."

I rolled my eyes, knowing that she was just trying to distract me so I wouldn't feel so down. I closed my eyes for a moment, wondering how to ask her another question, but I was already dozing.

"I have to go home soon, but I'll stay with you until you fall asleep, okay?" 

I heard what she said and how sweet her voice sounded, but my brain had already stopped working. "Mhmm." 

The last thing I remember before falling asleep was Catra holding me closer and kissing my temple. 

The question I wanted to ask remained only inside of my head. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time writing such a long and detailed sex scene. Though it's explicit, I tried to make it soft, like, focusing on what they were feeling rather than graphically describing what was going on. After all, it wasn't _just sex_.  
> I also purposefully avoided using obscene words for body parts and reactions, because... well, that's not really my thing. 
> 
> If you have a minute, I would like to know your thoughts. Was this scene convincing enough, written the way it was?


	3. Bittersweet - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Catra's POV.
> 
> * Warning for child abuse content. If this is a trigger for you, please skip the flashback.  
> * The flashback takes place 5 years ago, when the girls were around 14-15 years old.

It’s strange how life can suddenly take a sharp turn. 

For so long, spending some time away from Brightmoon was all I wanted. After last night, though, things changed drastically. 

It all began years ago, when I fell in love with my best friend. I never wanted it to happen - I think no one does, unless their love is reciprocated from the beginning. 

Unsurprisingly, I wasn't so lucky. Adora didn’t want me, at least not the way I wanted her. So in order to suppress this feeling, I kept forcing myself not to think of her and even dated many girls in hopes one of them would make me get over her. 

Needless to say, nothing ever worked. 

It seemed the more time passed and the harder I tried, the more I found myself buried in this. But it happened so naturally… I can’t even pinpoint how or when things started to change for me; suddenly I just noticed my heartbeat racing and my hands getting sweaty whenever she got near me. And before I knew it, I was constantly looking forward to seeing her, only to be rewarded with that silly smile. 

This may sound sweet and romantic, but the thing is: over the years this longing starts to feel like a rope squeezing your heart and almost ripping it in two. I tried not to show it, but how are you supposed to hide such a thing from the person that knows you better than anyone else? 

To top it all off, we were always together. Always. It's practically impossible to get over someone that not only is always in your mind, but is literally by your side every hour of the day. We were in the same class, so if we weren't together at school, we would certainly be together somewhere else. 

So I thought maybe just for a few months it would be good to have some physical distance between us. That was the only thing I had never tried, so I put all my eggs in one basket.

But Adora and I had this plan of sharing a place when we went to college. And for many years, this sounded like the best idea in the world, until… it became the worst, at least for me. I couldn't live with her, watching her bring boyfriends home, all along having to pretend everything was fine. Adora always knew when something bothered me and so I would have to lie, day after day, over and over again. Even though she was the most oblivious person in the world, eventually she would find out. No one can keep pretending for so long, after all.

Obviously I couldn’t just change plans, not without giving her a good reason. I wanted to tell her the truth, but there was a chance she would start feeling uncomfortable around me. I didn't want to ruin our friendship, so I decided to keep my mouth shut. Besides, if I told her, I'm sure she would feel bad for breaking my heart and I didn’t want to hurt her nor guilt her into thinking she should return my feelings. It was not her fault that my stupid heart had decided to be exclusively hers.

Racionally, I wanted her to be happy, of course I did. I wanted her to find someone who would love and cherish her the way she deserved. And though I knew this person would never be me, I wasn't prepared for the jealousy I felt when she started dating those guys.

She never fell in love with any of them, I suppose, but then again, she hardly ever spoke about this. I can't decide what is worse - to know or not to know - because my mind always filled in what she wasn’t telling me with the worst possible scenarios. And just the thought of their hands on her, their lips on hers… ugh, it was so fucking painful.

I managed to endure this torture for a while, but when it became really unbearable, I decided to put into practice this old plan of spending some time away from… everything.

Eventually an idea came to me. 

During high school, I joined Sea Hawk’s band as the female lead singer and guitarist. Sea Hawk looked - and dressed - like a stupid cartoon character, but he sounded and acted like a rockstar on stage. They were all great musicians. Lonnie, Kyle and Rogelio had already joined the band, so by that time I became a member  _ The Horde _ was already pretty popular in Brightmoon.

I knew they had potential and I knew they wanted to rise, so I just went with the flow, disguising my runaway plan as a newly found dream of becoming a star. For months, we worked really hard and then invitations to perform in all famous festivals across Etheria finally started to come.

The guys were ecstatic with the development of our careers and the prospect of going on a national tour for the first time. Adora, not so much. She never openly opposed the idea, but when I told her I would spend months away, I could see how devastated she was. After so many years, we didn’t need words to know what the other was thinking - the most subtle signs already spoke volumes.

So when we got our first contract, I had to tell her the news over the phone, because I would never be able to lie while looking into her eyes. There was a moment of silence on the other line, but then she said:  _ “If this is really your dream, then of course I will support you. Just promise you will text me every day, because… you know... I’ll miss you.” _

And I would miss her too… so much. Staying near her was hard, but being away from her was painful as hell. I kept my promise and texted her every day - I would do it anyway, even if she hadn’t asked - and we called each other at least twice a week. 

By that time, her stepmother had already been arrested, so I knew Adora would be safe. I would have never left otherwise. No matter how much it hurt, I would rather have my heart broken a thousand times before I left Adora alone with her.

Unfortunately, just the mention of that disgusting woman, combined with the scars I had recently seen on Adora's back, made me think of a day I wish had never happened.

###### 

**5 years ago:**

Adora hadn't arrived yet. That was strange - being the star student she was, she would always be sitting in her place before the teacher even got in the classroom. 

At first, I just thought she was late, but her seat remained empty throughout the first class... and the second… and the third... 

Adora never played hooky and she always let me know if she couldn’t come to school. I got worried so I texted her, asking where the hell she was. I simply ignored my teacher’s disapproving looks and kept my phone in my hands, checking it for notifications every five minutes or less. 

But at the end of the class, Adora still hadn't replied. I decided to send her another message and that’s when I noticed she hadn’t even read the first one. It hadn’t even been delivered, in fact. I tried to call her during the brief break between classes, but her phone was off. I was on the verge of panicking because I knew something was wrong. Very wrong.

At lunch break, I sneaked out of the school and biked to her house. I knew things hadn’t been exactly smooth there. Her uncle had developed some sort of disease and, even after months, the doctors hadn't made a diagnosis. In the meanwhile, the damn woman he had married had found a new hobby, which consisted of making Adora’s life hell.

Usually it took me twenty minutes to get to her place, but today I made it in half the time. I left my bike in front of the house, not even bothering to lock it, and was about to ring the bell when something told me I should first check if Adora was home. And so I did. Her room was on the second floor and I climbed the tree next to her window. 

Luckily it was open and I saw her on bed, lying on her stomach. Apparently she was sick... But so sick that she couldn't send me a message? So sick that she couldn't reply to the ones I had sent? That didn’t make any sense.

“Hey, Adora.” I called her, trying to keep my voice low.

“Catra?!” She quickly raised from the bed and I saw her grimace in pain. Then, she approached the window and whispered back. “What are you doing?! Have you lost your mind? You’ll get hurt if you fall from this height!”

“Ha, like that would happen. You know I'm great at climbing things.” I smirked, but then I saw her eyes were red, as if she had cried for a long time. “I was so worried about you! What happened? Are you feeling sick?”

“I…” She started to say something, but bit her lower lip as if to stop herself. “Y-yeah, that’s it. I am… sick.”

“Really?" God, she was such a terrible liar. "And what happened to your phone?” 

“It… uh, I don’t know..." She stuttered and avoided eye contact. “Probably ran out of battery?”

I narrowed my eyes and snorted. “Seriously, Adora?! Do you really expect me to fall for that? Why do you need an oversized head if your brain is so small you can’t even make up a decent excuse?!” 

“Hey! My head is not big!”

“Yeah, you're right. Your head is not big… at least not as big as this lie you have just told me!” But I knew she would never lie under normal circumstances. I had to find out what was going on. “Okay, move over so I can come in.”

“Wait, no!” Her tone sounded almost desperate. “Catra, please don’t. I’m… I’m fine. I promise. Just go home.”

_ “Go home?!  _ Are you kidding me?! I'm not going home until I take a good look at you and make sure you’re okay.”

“Catra, I… I’m okay. I am. But I can’t let you in now. So please... go home.” 

I didn't know what a panic attack looked like, but judging by Adora’s reaction, probably I was about to find out. I tried to think of all possibilities that could make her lie to me and then push me away. I knew she trusted me, so if she was trying to hide something, whatever happened certainly involved other people. 

And since she looked so frightened, only one thing came to mind. “Did that bitch do something to you?” 

She didn’t even need to answer, it was written on her face. At the simple thought she had hurt Adora, anger immediately started stirring within me.

“Fine. If you’re not letting me in through the window, then I'll find another way.” I declared, ignoring Adora’s horrified look, and then climbed down as fast as I could. As I rang the bell, I swear I could hear her gasp from her room. 

A moment later, that woman opened the door.

“Oh, it’s... you.” She looked as pleased as if a giant cockroach had just materialized in front of her. "What do you want?”

“Good afternoon to you too, ma’am. I just came to bring Adora’s homework.”

“Wait, Adora is not-“

I was fast, so before she could even finish the sentence, I had already reached my destination.

I opened the door and closed it behind my back. Adora was paralyzed, staring at me as if I had just murdered someone right in front of her.

“Ugh, I hate that woman.” I grumbled, leaning my back on the door. Her negativity was so palpable I think Perfuma would fall sick just by getting near that house.

“Me too…” Adora said quietly, her eyes falling to the floor and her voice sounding strangely nervous as she added. “And now that you’re here, she’s really going to kill me...”

“Hey…” I got closer and reached for her hand. “It’s okay. She won’t hurt you. I promise.”

Adora’s lips quivered as she visibly tried to fight back her tears. “You can’t make such a promise…”

I paused and I could barely recognize my voice when I spoke again. “What did she do, Adora?” 

Her eyes widened at the sudden question and probably at the shift in my mood too. “N-Nothing!”

“Adora… tell me. What did she do?” 

She started crying and I hated myself for making her so nervous. I wanted her to know I wasn't mad at her, so I pulled her into a hug. She winced the second my hands touched her back.

I stared deep into her eyes, my fists and my jaw clenching. “Turn around.”

“Catra, I-“

“Turn. Around.” My mouth dried up and my heart started pounding on my chest in apprehension, for I knew I wouldn't like what I would see.

Hesitantly, Adora did as I asked, or rather commanded, and then I saw several bloodstains on her shirt. Instantly, I felt a bitter taste in my mouth and my eyes filled with tears.

“What did she do to you?” I was so shocked my voice came out as a whisper.

As I raised one hand to touch her, my body began trembling with rage and I started seeing as red as the bloodstains on her back. I had worked on my anger issues for so long and hadn't had a single episode in years… but seeing Adora hurt turned out to be a trigger to my most enraged state. 

“Tell me, Adora! What the hell did she do to you?!” 

Adora started sobbing and that made my hatred for that motherfucker skyrocket.

“Sharon, she… we had an argument and then… she pushed me… I- I stumbled and fell against… against a glass door… so I…”

I felt so sick I almost threw up. I forced myself to take a deep breath and calm down even if just a little, because right now Adora needed me.

“Take off your shirt and lie down.” She seemed confused and so I clarified, trying to sound a little less pissed. “You’re bleeding. I’ll clean the cuts for you.”

She didn’t say a word, just turned around, took off her shirt and lay on her stomach. There were several cuts on her back, some of them deep, but already closed with stitches. 

My body stiffened and I gritted my teeth so hard I wouldn’t be surprised if they just broke. As I imagined the pain she had gone through, I could almost hear my heart breaking. 

“You went to the hospital?” It was a  _ very _ stupid question, clearly she had. Where else would she get stitched? 

“Yeah… Uncle Hordak took me.” 

“What?! The bastard saw that damn woman hurt you and did nothing to stop her?!” 

“It wasn’t like that... He wasn’t home, he arrived a few minutes after it all happened… so Sharon… she told him it had been an accident—"

"And he believed it?!” She nodded quietly. "Of course he did! He’s a manipulated idiot, he always believes her lies. But why didn’t you just tell him the truth?"

"I wanted to… but Sharon made me lie to him… She said if I didn’t support her story, she would… she would…” 

Adora couldn’t even finish the sentence. I touched her shoulder, silently letting her know that she didn't need to say anything else. I had heard enough.

I got up and then went to grab her first-aid box. Luckily my moms had taught me the basics, so I carefully cleaned the wounds and bandaged them as so to stop the bleeding. But the more I looked at Adora’s back, the more I wanted to strangle that woman with my bare hands. 

After I finished, I took a deep breath and turned towards the door. “Now that I took care of you, I’m going to take care of  _ her." _

“Wait, what?! Catra, no!” She quickly grabbed my hand before I could even stand up. "Please! Don’t do anything!”

Her request fell on deaf ears. "Stay here, okay? And lock the door.”

“No! First you gotta promise me you won’t do anything stupid!” I averted my eyes and her grip on my hand tightened. “Please, Catra! Don’t do anything stupid. It’s not worth it.”

Her skin was soft, but her hands were cold and shaking. She looked so fragile... so broken… 

At that very moment, I realized there was nothing I wouldn’t do for her.

“It’s worth it. You are worth it.” I freed my arm from her hand and stood up, heading to the door.

“Wait!” She quickly rose from the bed and came after me. 

"You idiot! You're gonna hurt your—"

"I don't care." She held me tight and I softened as I felt her tears on my shoulder and her arms around my back. “If she hurts you, I just— I don’t know what I would do. I can't let anything happen to you. So please… Please, Catra. Promise me.” 

How could I say  _ no _ when she practically begged me to do, or rather  _ not _ to do, something for her?

“Fine. I promise. I won’t do anything stupid and I won’t let her hurt me.” Adora finally let out the air she had been holding, but she seemed hesitant to let  _ me _ go. "Hey… Don’t you trust me?”

“Blindly.” She answered in a heartbeat and, after eying me for a moment, she slowly loosened her embrace. 

“I’ll be right back.” I forced a smile and then got out of the room before she tried to stop me again.

Soon as I closed the door, I stormed downstairs and I found that bitch in the kitchen. She had a glass of wine in her hand and, as she saw me, she gave me a sardonic smile. I had to repeat Perfuma's words several times in my head to keep me from jumping on her throat and wiping that smile off her face, because I couldn't break a promise I had just made to Adora.

She tried to look nonchalant, but her eyes were burning as if she wanted to cast a death spell on me. If she meant to scare me, she would have to do way better than this. 

“You hurt her!” Was confronting her considered a stupid thing? I should have asked Adora what she meant by _stupid,_ because I just realized this was a _very_ subjective concept. I had only labeled _murdering_ _her_ as something stupid, so since Adora hadn’t set a limit, this would have to do.

She ran her index finger absently over the glass rim, smirking. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Listen to me, you bitch.” She raised one eyebrow and I walked to where she was, my face only a few inches away from hers. “If you lay one finger on her ever again, or if you do anything remotely close to hurting her in any way, I will go to the police and I will tell them everything.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” She sniggered, leaning her chin on her hand. “Yes, I pushed your precious little friend and then she got hurt, but it will be your word against mine. So go ahead. Talk to the police. Let’s see if they will believe a stupid teenager like you.” 

"Probably they won’t... unless this stupid teenager has taken pictures of Adora’s back and also recorded this little confession of yours." I took the phone off my pocket and held it in my hands to illustrate my words. Unfortunately it was a lie, I hadn't recorded a damn thing. If my anger hadn't gotten in the way, making me act so impulsively, I'm sure this is exactly what I would have done. Since I had nothing against her, I just went on with this impromptu plan, hoping it would work. "So… let's see if they  _ won't _ believe me when they see what I’ve got.”

She growled and stood up, ready to rip the phone out of my hands. I quickly took a step back, watching her stumble forward, probably a little tipsy on wine.

"Oh, you want _ this?” _ It was my turn to snigger. “See, I’m not the stupid teenager you think I am. The files get automatically saved in the cloud so destroying my phone would be useless.” 

I should make a career playing poker, because I had bluffed shamelessly and the idiot had easily bought it. Maybe the wine had helped, slowing down her brain. 

“You damn—“

“Consider this a warning. I’m keeping my eyes on you... Shadow Weaver.”

“My name is  _ Sharon _ Weaver!“

“Really? So you should consider changing it.  _ Shadow _ fits you way better”. I headed to the exit without turning my back on her and leaned on the door jamb. “Just to make it clear: if  _ anything _ happens to Adora, you know what I will do… and then what the police will do… right?” 

She didn’t say a word and so I left, slamming the front door. From the outside, I could hear her howling and also what it sounded like a glass of wine smashing on the ground.

I wasn’t naive, though. I knew she wouldn’t leave Adora alone so easily, so I quickly climbed the tree again and got back to her room. She was so busy pacing around that she didn't even notice me. 

"Hey Adora..."

“Catra!” She seemed torn between relief and surprise when she finally saw me. I bet she didn’t expect me to come back through the window after going out through the door. “What happened? What did you do?"

Before I could answer, I heard that woman punching the door, barking Adora’s name and making her almost jump out of her skin. 

“Leave it to me.” I gave her a reassuring smile and went to open the door myself. 

I tried not to laugh at her perplexed expression when she saw me, not Adora, standing in front of her. 

“Shadow Weaver…" I spoke in a fake sweet voice. "To what do we owe the displeasure of this visit? Are you so drunk you already forgot our talk? Or did you come here just to return Adora’s phone?”

She glared at me and, if eyes could kill, this would certainly be a murder attempt. 

“Give back her phone.” I said, punctuating each word. 

Slowly, she took the phone off her pocket and I snatched it from her hands before she even had the chance to hand it to me. 

“Now leave her alone.” I ended her unwelcome visit by graciously slamming the door in her face.

Adora’s eyes looked about twice their normal size and her whole body was shaking. Seeing her in that state only made me regret not killing that bitch. 

“Hey… it’s okay now. She’s gone.” I placed one hand on her shoulder and she simply threw herself in my arms, holding me as if her life depended on it. I was about to run my hands up and down her back to soothe her, but then I remembered the cuts and hugged her by the waist instead. She buried her face in my neck, sobbing almost uncontrollably. 

I didn't know what to do, had never seen her in such a state. Clearly she wouldn't be able to talk, not even if she wanted to, so maybe all she needed was to cry her heart out until she got it all off her chest.

“Come here.” 

I guided her to the bed and lay with her in my arms, careful enough not to hurt her back. She didn't say a word, just followed my lead, resting her head on my shoulder. Her nose seemed to be magnetically attached to my neck, making me intensely aware of her presence. I would let her stay there for as long as she needed, though. 

Eventually she stopped sobbing, but she stood there in my arms, clinging to me while I ran my fingers through her hair. 

“Did you really call her  _ Shadow _ Weaver?” She asked after a moment, laughing through her tears.

“Yeah, I did! It fits her, don’t you think?”

“Perfectly.” She snuggled closer, if that was even possible, and then added quietly. “I think I’ve never told you this before, but… you're not only my best friend; you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I really don't know what I would do without you.”

My throat tightened as I heard those words, but I didn’t want to get all emotional. 

“Don’t worry, you won’t get rid of me so easily. We'll always have each other.  _ You look out for me, and I look out for you. _ Remember?" I smiled, but then paused for a second and hugged her a little tighter. "And uh, since we are saying things we've never said to each other before, I just want you to know that I… I love you… I really do.” 

Ugh, my voice even faltered a little as I said those words. So much for not getting all emotional.

She smiled and touched my face tenderly, kissing my cheek. Her lips lingered on my skin a little longer than I had expected. “I love you too. More than anything.”

I shut my eyes and inhaled deeply. It was getting hard to keep my feelings in check with her body so close to mine.

“Here’s the thing." I said, trying to focus on anything other than her breath on my neck and her delicate fingers absently caressing my jawline. "I won’t leave you alone with her. So either I’ll stay here with you or you’ll come home with me. It’s up to you.”

She hesitated, but I already knew what she would choose. “Is it really okay if I come with you?” 

“Of course it is, dummy. You know my moms love you.” 

“And I love them too.” She smiled, but then suddenly turned a little shy. “Uh... until I get a little better, do you think you could help me shower and dress? It's just that… it hurts a lot when I move my arms...”

_ Help her shower and dress?! _ Great, the universe had just found another way to torture me. "Uh… yeah… sure. I can help.” 

Well, I must have done a lot of shit in my past life to deserve this, like, I don't know, starting a war or sending people to their death. 

Or maybe this was just my punishment for loving her in ways that I shouldn't.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a modern human AU, so I highly doubt someone would name their child "Shadow Weaver" 😅. I hope "Sharon" has done the trick.
> 
> Chapter 3 was getting too long, so I decided to split it in two parts. That means next chapter will also be from Catra's POV; plus, Scorpia, Perfuma and some other characters will make an appearance too.


	4. Bittersweet - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is still from Catra's POV.

Later on that same day, after I helped Adora pack, I called Scorpia and gave her a short explanation of  _ what _ had happened and  _ why _ she needed to come and get us. Scorpia, being the overprotective mom she was, came so fast she practically teleported to Adora's place. I had never seen Scorpia out of her usual calm and sweet self, but this time she was so mad I thought she would climb the walls with her bare hands to get to Shadow Weaver's room and have a word with her. Scorpia always said Adora was like a daughter to her, so maybe that's how she looks when someone messes with one of her kids. I was so lucky I was one of them, because she and Perfuma were the best moms I could possibly have.

They both knew how I felt about Adora and they always had my back, preventing me from going crazy because of my unrequited feelings and also sparing me any awkward situations. For instance, after Perfuma called Hordak and convinced him to let Adora stay with us for a few weeks, she took it upon herself to help Adora shower and change clothes everyday. Perfuma didn't say anything, but I knew she had done this to make things easier on me. 

As for me, I helped with everything that wasn't related to seeing Adora naked, like carrying her backpack, tying her shoes, brushing her hair… which reminds me of when I made her a ridiculous puff hairstyle, just to make fun of her. She asked me if I had liked it, but instead of saying that she actually looked kinda cute, I just said  _ "it's dumb, so it fits you perfectly" _ . She never stopped using that hairstyle ever since. 

But Adora would need way more help than that. Her anxiety got considerably worse after that incident with Shadow Weaver, which was completely understandable. So to help her feel safer, Scorpia suggested she take self-defense classes and even said she would join her, probably because she knew Adora would feel more comfortable if she had someone familiar by her side.

I thought it was cute the way she and Perfuma had practically adopted Adora. One day over dinner, she even teared up a little when they said they loved her like a daughter. Later, when we were getting ready for bed, I asked if she had liked the idea of being my sister so much to the point of crying.

“No,” she promptly replied, “I would love it if Scorpia and Perfuma were my moms, but I wouldn't want to have you as my sister.”

I wasn’t expecting that answer. “And why is that?”

“Because siblings always fight.” She shrugged and then smiled at me. “This is one of the things I love the most about us: we never fight. I grew up surrounded by people fighting, by screams and doors slamming all the time, so this peace and safety I feel around you… it's the best thing in the world.”

I must confess that wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear, but it was an answer I liked very much. We never fought, indeed. Sometimes we would argue, sure - two very different people wouldn’t agree with each other all the time - but a real fight? Nope. Even though I’ve always had a short temper, for some reason Adora never really got on my nerves. 

So a few days later, when Adora was feeling a little better both physically and emotionally, we asked my moms what to do with Shadow Weaver. Scorpia insisted we should go to the police and press charges, but in reality we had no proof she had hurt Adora intentionally. The chances of her getting away with it were huge, so Perfuma suggested we just kept an eye on her, since the idiot still believed we had pictures and recordings that could be used against her.

Scorpia did more than just staying alert; she made sure to always point two fingers at her own eyes and then aim them directly at Shadow Weaver whenever they bumped into each other. Scorpia is tall and beefy so she can look really menacing, but the funny thing is that she is the sweetest person that has ever walked on earth. Of course, no one would tell Shadow Weaver that.

In the end, after my performance worthy of an Oscar and Scorpia’s not so little help to intimidate that damn woman, she did leave Adora alone and focused on haunting her husband instead. So hurting Adora wasn’t the reason she got arrested; actually, that only happened one year later. I still don’t know if she’s aware I played an important role in the investigation that led to her arrest, but I hope the bitch does.

Thankfully, Adora got considerably less anxious with Shadow Weaver out of the picture and, to make things better, soon after that she met Bow and Glimmer. I was glad she had made new friends, good friends, so I totally supported the idea of her moving away from her uncle’s house and sharing an apartment with them. This way she would never be alone and there would be people to take care of her if she needed, since Bow and Glimmer treated her like a younger sister.

The timing couldn't be more perfect: a few weeks after they moved in together,  _ The Horde _ signed its first contract and I could pursue what everyone - Adora and my moms included - thought it was my biggest dream. In truth, I never wanted to  _ conquer the world,  _ as my friends would say. I loved singing and playing with them, but becoming famous had never been my goal. They were counting on me for this second tour, though, and I knew how hard they had worked for this opportunity, so I couldn’t ruin their dream only because mine had come true.

_ Mine had come true… _

Even with Adora’s scent on my skin, even with her taste still on my lips… it was hard to believe she had said yes. Damn it, she was sleeping in my arms at this very moment and I still couldn't believe it! Maybe that’s what happens when you spend most of your life dreaming of one single thing and then, when you least expect it, it becomes true. 

I just wish it hadn't happened just when I was about to leave for another tour. If it wasn't for my friends, I would certainly throw it all to the wind and stay here with Adora. But since I had no choice, I tried to stop whining and forced myself to get up from bed, hating how cold it felt without her body next to mine.

I considered waking her up to say goodbye, but changed my mind thinking that I would never have the strength to leave if she was awake. Besides, she was sleeping so peacefully, like I had never seen before, and that was really something since Adora  _ never _ relaxes.

She knew I would be gone by the time she woke up, but I decided to leave her a note anyway. I took a notebook and a pen from her bedside table, stopping for a second to think about what to write. Since what I really wanted to say would never fit on a note, I just teased her a little - as usual - and said I would call her tonight. 

I felt bad for practically sneaking out, as if I had spent the night with some girl I would never see again. Adora wasn’t "some girl", she was… I don't know, maybe the love of my life? I've been in love with her for most of it, so if such a thing existed, then it had to be her.

With my heart sinking in my chest, I took a moment just to stare at her. Her hair was covering part of her face, so I kneeled next to the bed and with a touch as light as a feather I brushed the lock away. It always amazed me how beautiful she was. Whenever we slept in the same room, I would always stay awake a bit longer just so I could admire her. After so many years, I think I had already memorized every detail of her face to the point I could draw her with my eyes closed.

As I noticed her slightly parted lips, I instantly recalled how they had felt against my skin, all the sensations they had elicited from me, all the sounds that had escaped them as she gave herself to me. Since I was old enough to understand what desire meant, I've spent a lot of time fantasizing about this moment. I must say, I didn't have the slightest idea of just how mind-blowing it would be. She had been so damn perfect last night… I didn't think she could make me fall in love even harder, but here I was, completely head over heels for her.

Unwittingly, I let out a long, heavy sigh. How pathetic, I hadn't even gone yet and I was already missing her. What had she done to me?! Had I really turned into this clingy person so easily?

_ Okay, Catra… if you plan on getting to the airport in time, you have to get your shit together.  _

I forced myself to go to the living room and get my clothes. After I got dressed I left as quietly as I could, trying not to feel guilty about it. I locked the door from the outside and then slid the key under it, so I could leave knowing Adora would be safe inside. 

As I walked to the parking lot where I had left my car, the idea of turning around and going back to her arms crossed my mind at least a hundred times. It was so bittersweet... I had never felt so elated and, at the same time, so miserable in my whole life.

###### 

After fifteen minutes I got home and soon as I opened the front door, I saw my mom sitting on the couch. She had a cup of coffee in her hands and her eyes aimed directly at me. I froze with my hand still on the doorknob.

"Hey, kid.” She sounded exhausted. Probably she had spent the whole night awake, waiting for me. "You should have sent us a message to let us know you would spend the night out. We called you several times. Your mother was worried… and so was I.”

I know, I know. I should at least have sent a message, but I hadn’t planned on spending the night out and it was not like I had the time to make any arrangements. Everything happened so fast… 

“I’m sorry, mom. I was with Adora and then…” My voice trailed off. I obviously wanted to tell her what had happened, but I hadn’t even talked to Adora yet. “Uh, so... we got distracted and then I… forgot…”

I definitely should have thought about what I would say so I wouldn't embarrass myself with such a lame excuse. 

“So you two were so busy that the thought of sending a message to your moms never crossed your mind during the whole— hey. Wait a minute.” Scorpia frowned and I could even hear the gears in her brain working before her face split in an incredulous smile. “Hey, wildcat… don’t tell me you two… you and Adora… you...”

She was so stunned she couldn’t even finish the sentence. I guess my grin gave me away and answered her unfinished question for me.

"Wow, I mean… Man!” Despite the visible shock, she was unmistakably happy. "This is awesome! You and Adora… This is just... Wow!”

"Yeah, it... kinda happened.” I suddenly felt uncharastically shy. But what are you supposed to say when your mom finds out that you spent the night with someone and she looks so happy she could open a bottle of champagne? It was weird.

“Perfuma, come here, honey!! You need to hear this!”

Okay, so it could get even weirder if one of your moms decided to talk about that with your other mom… and right in front of you, no less.

“What happened?! Is Catra okay?” She practically ran to the living room and let out a sigh of relief when she saw me in one piece. I felt guilty for making them worry, even though unintentionally, so I gave her my best apologetic smile. Judging by her face, it didn't work as I planned. “Catra, you know you can stay out all night if you want to, but the only rule is that you need to let us know-“

“Forget the rules, babe! Catra had a good reason to forget about us!”

“Oh yeah?!” Perfuma crossed her arms in front of her chest. “And may I ask what this  _ good reason  _ was?"

Before I could open my mouth, Scorpia answered as proud as she could be.

“She was with Adora and then… bang!” 

_ Bang?! _ I facepalmed myself at her terrible choice of words. I had poetically called it  _ making love _ , only to have my mom resume the most amazing experience of my life with an onomatopoeia of double meaning and very questionable taste. She didn’t seem to notice my disapproving look though, and so she went on.

“I’m so happy for you!” Scorpia gushed. From where I stood, I could even see her tearing up a little. “And proud! I’m proud too!! You finally gathered the courage to tell her!”

She had that emotional look on her face and I silently prayed she wouldn’t force me into one of those hugs right now because... well, I hadn’t even showered yet.

“Is that true?” Perfuma asked, but unlike Scorpia, she didn’t look ecstatic. She looked concerned, actually.

“Hey...” Scorpia frowned, noticing the same thing I did. “What's wrong, babe? Aren’t you happy for our child?”

I would have reminded her that I'm not a child anymore if I hadn't been more interested in my mother’s answer this time. 

“I am, but...” Perfuma approached me, putting both hands on my shoulders and staring deep into my eyes. “Catra, you know Adora has been through a lot, so just be careful with how you treat her, okay?”

“Hey…” I was partially offended. Okay,  _ completely _ offended. “You know how much I care for her. I would never do anything to hurt her feelings.”

“I know. That is not what I meant, honey.” Her eyes softened and she finally smiled at me. “I know how much you love her. But probably this is a lot for Adora to take, don’t you think? Her first girl is also her best friend, the person she loves and trusts the most, the person who helped her to get through the worst moments of her life. I wouldn’t be surprised if she got scared and confused, thinking that if this goes wrong she might lose you.”

“Oh…” My mother had a very good point, indeed. It was  _ so _ like Adora to freak out about… anything, actually. Of course this would be no exception. “You’re right. And we didn’t even have time to talk about what happened… She was still sleeping when I left.”

I think I would never get over this. I wanted to be there when she woke up, wanted to talk to her in person. Maybe have breakfast together? But instead… here I was, about to go to the airport and fly to the other side of the country.

“Just try and be patient, okay?” Perfuma advised, knowing that I had a very short temper and tended to be harsh and impulsive sometimes. Okay, most of the time, especially when I got frustrated. “She might try to avoid you for the next few days or act like what happened was no big deal, I don't know. But if something like this happens, you know what to do, right? You breathe—“

"...and choose my words carefully. I know. Don’t worry." I grew up trying to put these words into practice on a daily basis, so at this point I already knew them by heart.

"There you go!" Perfuma clapped twice, pleased. “We can't let the negative feelings take over us.”

_ Negative feelings…  _ I had experienced a lot of them, but Perfuma and Scorpia played an important role in helping me keep my anger under control. Adora helped too, of course. Just her hands on mine or her eyes on mine were enough to stop me from lashing out against the other kids. So over the years and with a lot of effort, I gradually became more patient and less aggressive. 

Scorpia never let go of the pet name she had given me, though.  _ Wildcat. _ She started calling me that after I scratched some boys' faces who had bullied me at school. That happened in the same week they brought me home and I thought they would just send me back to the orphanage, like all the other foster families had. But they were different… they found a way to love me despite all my imperfections.

Meanwhile Scorpia had been silently listening to Perfuma, nodding all along. Then, after Perfuma finished, Scorpia turned at me with a warm expression. “Do you need a hug, wildcat? You look like you need a hug.”

I’m pretty sure I  _ never _ looked like I needed a hug.

“Scorpia…” Perfuma said carefully, probably not to hurt her feelings. “Let the girl shower first. You can hug her later.”

God, I loved that woman and her sense of personal space.

###### 

I got out of the shower, dried my hair quickly, swallowed some scrambled eggs Scorpia had kindly made for me and prepared a double espresso to go. Perfuma insisted on taking me to the airport before she went to work, which I gladly accepted. I had barely seen my moms this time and I knew I would miss them like hell. 

“Are you okay, sweety?” She asked without taking her eyes off the road.

I let out a long, heavy sigh. “Just didn’t want to go, that’s all.”

“I figured. This time you don't feel like running away from your feelings, right?”

I looked at her, baffled. So she  _ knew _ my real reasons for leaving?! Ugh, I should have known… when it comes to Perfuma, nothing goes unnoticed.

"Yeah… you're right.” What else could I say? 

“Do you wanna talk about it?"

I thought of declining, but it would be pointless. Ever since I was a kid, I could never keep anything from her or Scorpia.

“I was just thinking that I’ll miss you and mom. And... there’s Adora now. I’m a little scared, I don’t know how she will deal with everything that happened between us.”

Perfuma reached for my hand and squeezed it softly. “I’m sorry I brought that up. I didn’t want to ruin your mood after you had such an amazing night.”

“No. You did a good thing. The possibility of Adora freaking out is  _ really _ something I should take into account.” I paused for a moment and then asked something that had been in my mind ever since we had that talk. “Hey, mother… What if Adora doesn’t want… you know…”

“Repeat what you did last night? Be in a relationship with you?” 

Is this woman a telepath? Or am I just so very predictable?

“Yeah… This wasn’t just a one night stand to me, you know that. But what if she let it happen in the heat of the moment? What if she regretted it?” Okay, now  _ I _ was the one freaking out. “I spent years imagining what it would feel like to be with her. I always thought it would be good, but... I wasn't prepared for how amazing it would be. She made me feel things… things I had never felt before… ”

I guess Perfuma had some kind of superpower to make people open up to her, even when they didn’t want to.

She chuckled lightly. “You felt this way because it was the first time you slept with someone you truly love. It’s the best thing in the world, isn’t it?”

“It is…” I muttered, closing my eyes for a brief moment. But whenever I closed my eyes, images from the night before would start popping in my mind.

“Don't worry. Everything will be fine.” My mother said, like all moms do when they try to reassure their kids. "I know Adora, you two grew up together before our eyes. I doubt she would do this kind of thing in the heat of the moment, she's not an impulsive person. Besides, why would she risk your friendship for a one night stand? It makes no sense. So just talk to her, okay? You know her better than anyone, I'm sure you’ll know what to say.”

She looked at me and winked, then turned her head back to the road. Hearing her reassuring words definitely made me feel a little better. Perfuma always knew what to say and no one was immune to her positivity. 

Not even me. 

###### 

“Damn, Catra! What took you so long?!” Lonnie asked before even saying hello. “We were beginning to think you wouldn’t show up!”

Oh, if only she knew that  _ did _ cross my mind like a million times...

“Wow…” Despite the interjection, Mermista looked unimpressed as ever. “You look like crap.”

"Yeah! What happened?" Lonnie laughed and leaned forward, clearly interested in what I had to say. 

“Didn’t get much sleep last night, that's it.” I gave her a simple and honest answer, hoping she wouldn't ask further questions, but I should have known.

“Sooo…" She left her seat and sat next to me, her eyes narrowed suggestively. "Who was the girl who drained all your energy last night? A new fling?” 

“It was not a fling!” I snorted without thinking and quickly put on my sunglasses, hoping they would get the message that I wanted to be left alone. 

Of course they didn’t.

“What?! You finally found a girl who could hold your interest for more than one night?!”  _ Now  _ Mermista looked impressed?! Really?! “That’s a first.”

I knew I had a reputation, but I think I haven't done half the things they thought I have. They just loved making up stories in their heads, especially Lonnie. She should write fanfics about whatever stupid thing she liked, instead of spending her time annoying me . 

“Ugh, just leave me alone you two.” I crossed my arms in front of my chest, trying to emphasize my words with my body language. Lonnie had opened her mouth, probably ready to try and get more information, but I was faster. “Where are the boys, anyway?"

Yeah, I had to resort to desperate measures to divert her attention, meaning: making small talk .

“Kyle and Rogelio went to grab something to eat and Sea Hawk is taking a look at the souvenir stores.” Lonnie shrugged, then she picked up her oversized coffee mug from the table and sipped it.

“Souvenir shops?!” I cocked my head. “Why would he want souvenirs from his hometown?”

“Probably he’s just looking for those stupid miniature boats he collects." Mermista rolled her eyes. "Such a weirdo.” 

“Or maybe he’s buying souvenirs for your parents, since he’s finally going to meet them.” Lonnie teased Mermista. Good, that meant she had a new target. “Maybe he's planning on proposing over dinner tonight. And since we are talking about Sea Hawk, he probably has everything planned in his head. I bet he wants to get married on a boat, dressed as a pirate and you… I don't know, maybe a mermaid? I think you would look good as a mermaid! As for the honeymoon, you two could go sailing around the world. What do you think?”

I couldn't hold my laughter, picturing the ridiculous scene Lonnie had just described. I had to admit her creativity was impressive, though.

“What do  _ I _ think?! I think you’ve just updated the definition of  _ nightmare!  _ That's what I think! _ ”  _ Mermista huffed, then stared pointedly at Lonnie and said in a serious tone. “Please don’t give him any stupid ideas. I already have to deal with the ones he comes up with on his own.”

Lonnie put her coffee back on the table, leaned back and lazily crossed her fingers behind her head. “Can't promise you anything, boss.” 

Mermista pinched the bridge of her nose and took a few breaths before she spoke again, this time ignoring Lonnie. “Okay, I have to make some phone calls before the boarding starts. There are some arrangements I need to get done before we arrive at Salineas. Sea Hawk wants, like, pyrotechnic effects on stage or whatever.”

“He does?!” Lonnie frowned as she sat straight. “Well, he  _ did _ mention he would set the stage on fire tomorrow, but I thought he had meant it metaphorically."

“Ugh! I will set him on fire, and it's  _ not _ metaphorically, if he tries to do that!” Mermista shook her head and hurriedly left with her phone in her hands, crying Sea Hawk’s name.

“You know,” Lonnie said, giggling, “when Sea Hawk suggested his girlfriend should be our manager, at first I didn’t think it was a good idea. But Mermista is actually pretty good at it.”

“Yeah, she's good, but she could at least give us a real break! I mean, two days off and then three months of work in a row?! Like seriously?!” 

"Hey..." Lonnie eyed me suspiciously. "You never complained about it before… Are you really okay? Because you seem a little off.” 

“I’m good. Just a little upset 'cause I didn’t get to spend much time with… you know, my family.”

She leaned her elbows on her thighs and turned her head to the side so she could stare at me.

“Well, at least you could see Adora this time, right?” 

They knew each other, Adora used to come to all our rehearsals. And whenever we were on the road, Lonnie and I would share a room so she had seen me talking to Adora over the phone like a thousand times. She knew we were close, but I didn’t want her to find out we had gotten even closer after last night. At least, not yet.

“Yeah, I saw her. But we didn’t get to talk much and I feel bad about it.”

Lonnie raised one eyebrow, combining it with a smirk. “Well, if you hadn’t spent the night having meaningless sex with another random girl, you could have spent more time with your best friend.” 

_ Meaningless sex? Random girl? _ I decided not to make any comments.

###### 

God, today was hell. First the damn turbulence during the whole flight, then the event promoters changed our hotel and forgot to tell Mermista about it, so we went to the wrong place... And to top it all off, when we were about to start rehearsing, Kyle noticed his keyboard had got damaged on the way. 

Luckily a girl named Entrapta managed to fix it - the same girl who was in charge of the pyrotechnics Sea Hawk so much wanted. Apparently she was some sort of tech genius: she not only fixed Kyle's keyboard, but also added some cool distortion effects to our guitars, improved the stage lights and even got Mermista’s old notebook to work. Mermista, by the way, was at the verge of tears when she saw her notebook coming back to life after she spent weeks mourning over her supposed lost data. It was the first time I saw her do something other than groan, roll her eyes or scream at Sea Hawk. She was even considering hiring Entrapta, because… well, the girl could do pretty much anything in half of the time a bunch of guys could. It would be really good to have a technician on the team instead of relying on the local staff, so we were all in favor of it. 

But despite Entrapta's help, the rehearsal sucked real bad in my opinion. We didn’t have much time on the stage, since fixing Kyle’s keyboard took a while. And when we did get started, I was too tired and too distracted to give my best. The lack of sleep was really affecting me and Adora flooded my mind to the point I couldn’t focus on anything else for more than five minutes. 

So after what it felt like an eternity, we finally got back to the hotel. I took a long shower and threw myself on bed, glad that Lonnie was somewhere else, probably at Kyle and Rogelio’s room. That meant I would get some privacy to talk to Adora without having to leave the bedroom.

I felt my heart racing when I unlocked the phone and saw the first name on my contact list, but my anxiety didn't stop me from smiling at the picture on the screen. A few months ago, Adora had done the biggest hair puff I had ever seen just so she could take a selfie and send it to me; she wanted to cheer me up after I told her I was having a bad day for whatever reason I don't recall right now. Obviously, she succeeded. And she looked so cutely dumb I had no choice but to use it as her profile picture ever since. 

I breathed in, surprised at how nervous I was about calling her. I had waited all day for this, hadn’t I? There was nothing I wanted more than hearing her voice and talking to her. 

I tried not to overthink and just touched the phone icon on the screen. After two rings, she picked up. 

Okay, so I would finally find out how she felt about last night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, at the same time writing helps me to get distracted, I've been too distracted to write 😔. And too uninspired too. But 2020 has been such a crazy year for everyone, right? I hope you're all doing fine despite these hard times.
> 
> Anyway, it was good bringing other characters to the story. I thought I should do Lonnie some justice and give her more "screen time" here, since she didn't get much in the series. Also, I just love Mermista and her aloof attitude, so she had to make an appearance too. 
> 
> In the next chapter, we'll go back to Adora's POV.


	5. It Has Always Been You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adora’s POV:

**Flashback - 11 years ago:**

"We're here." Uncle Hordak announced as he pulled over.

I took a look around as I stepped out of the car, swallowing hard. I had never seen so many kids in my whole life. He was a military engineer and we had to move frequently, so I had been homeschooled until that day. To make things worse, uncle Hordak had only a few friends and they either had no children or had children older than me. I was 8 and had barely spent time with people my age, so I didn't know what to make of this new experience. 

My stomach twisted at the thought of going inside alone, but he didn’t offer to accompany me and I didn’t want to bother him. My rising panic caught his attention, though.

"You know fear is for the weak, Adora. And you are not weak, are you?" 

I knew he wouldn't like it if I gave him an honest answer, so I just said what he wanted to hear. "No, sir." 

"Good. Now go on. You don't want to be late on your first day."

I nodded and turned on my heels, taking a deep breath to steel myself. Before I took the first step, I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"Despite being so young, you are incredibly smart. I'm proud of you, Adora. Keep it up so one day you can become a military officer, just like me and your..." He trailed off, refraining from mentioning my parents. "Anyway... You'll be fine. I'm sure you'll make a lot of friends here."

Usually he was so stern, so this gentleness in his tone surprised me. 

I forced a smile and said goodbye, sincerely hoping he was right. 

. . .

It turns out he was wrong. Very wrong. 

First, I had to introduce myself in front of the whole class - which was _really_ embarrassing. The teacher asked a lot of questions about me and some about my parents, like, what they did for a living and why we had moved to Brightmoon. People usually got weird when I told them my parents had passed away, so I skipped this part and just told her my uncle had adopted me and his job required us to move from time to time. Two boys snickered as they heard me. I didn't know what could be funny about that, so I just came back to my seat, trying to ignore them.

. . .

Ignoring them worked only until lunch break, though. As soon as the bell rang, they decided to chase me and mock me for being adopted. I was practically running through the hall, feeling my eyes sting, trying to get as far away as possible from them. I had no idea kids this age could be so mean. No one had prepared me for this.

Suddenly I saw an open door and, without even thinking, I got into that room. Thankfully there was a key in the hole and so I locked myself in, leaning my back on the door and shutting my eyes.

 _“So… Did your real parents dump you in a trash can or something?”_ One of them asked.

 _“That makes sense, because she does look like trash!”_ The other added and then both burst into laughter. 

I felt the salty taste of my tears, which by now had started running freely down my cheeks. 

_“She’s such a coward. No wonder why her parents got rid of her.”_

I let my body slide to the ground and covered my ears with both hands. I didn't want to be weak and disappoint my uncle, but I was so shocked and scared… I didn't know how to deal with this kind of situation, had never experienced something like this before. Paralyzed with fear, I just hugged my knees and buried my face in my arms, sobbing and wishing I could just disappear.

 _"You can’t hide forever, loser!"_ They banged on the door once, the loud sound startling me and making me jerk. _"We'll find you again, sooner or later!"_

Another bang and then they finally left, laughing. 

For a moment, the only sound I could hear was my own crying. But then...

“Is that true?” I was startled again, this time by a girl’s voice coming from the back of the same room I had locked myself in. In a hurried attempt to get rid of those boys, I hadn't even noticed there was someone in there. “That you are adopted, I mean.”

I didn't bother to raise my head, just sighed and tried to hold back my tears. I couldn’t believe it would start all over again, except this time the bully would be a girl. 

I heard her footsteps as she approached me. I had no place to run, was tired of running in fact, so I just waited for the teasing and the insults to start. 

They never did. Instead of mocking me, she leaned on the wall and slid down until she was sitting next to me.

“I’m adopted too.” She said and I finally dared to raise my head a little so I could see her.

“Y-you are?” I suddenly felt relieved because it didn’t look like she would bully me and also because I had never met any other adopted kid before. 

She nodded, keeping her head straight as she talked to me. “You know, the more you show you are upset, the more they tease you.”

“But I don’t understand...” I sniffed, wiping my tears with the back of my fingers. “I didn’t do anything. Why do they have to be so mean to me?” 

“They are just a bunch of losers who need to depreciate others so they can feel they are special.”

It took me a second so as to register her words. I parted my lips in awe. “Wow… You are so smart! That makes total sense!”

“I’m just repeating what my mom told me…" She smiled and I noticed the freckles on her right cheek, the only side of her face visible to me. "Last year I went through the exact same thing you are going through right now.”

“So they did this to you too?!” 

“No. They did worse.” She chuckled and finally turned her face to me. “See, I’m not just adopted. I have eyes of different colors, slightly pointed ears, this mess of a hair… They used to say I looked like a cat. And since I was adopted, they called me a _stray_ cat. So yeah… it sucked.”

As she mentioned her eyes, my attention focused on them. One was blue, like mine, and the other was amber. I found them fascinating.

“Your eyes are so cool!”

 _"Cool?"_ She frowned in genuine disbelief. “You don’t think they are weird?! All kids say my eyes are weird…” 

“They are not weird. They are unique.” I corrected her, still unable to stop staring, hoping this wouldn’t make her uncomfortable. But I just couldn't help myself, they seemed to have almost a hypnotizing effect on me. “I've never met anyone with eyes like yours." 

She didn't say anything back. Fearing I had driven her away, I tried to keep the conversation going.

"And as for looking like a cat, what's wrong with it? Cats are beautiful.”

Now she seemed a little embarrassed and I thought I had only made things worse by not shutting my big mouth. After a brief moment though, she stared at me with a smirk.

"Just be glad you look like a princess. It’s way better than looking like a cat.”

 _Princess?_ No one had ever told me I looked like a princess. In the movies, they were always so beautiful... Did that mean I was beautiful too?

“Do you really think I look like a princess? Or are you just trying to make fun of me?”

“What?! Come on, just look at you." She snorted and started counting on her fingers. "Blonde hair: checked. Big blue eyes: checked. Pale skin: checked. It's a cliché princess stereotype, but yeah… you look like one. As for me? I dare you to name one princess who looks like me.”

“Well, I can't recall any, but I guess it’s better to be unique, like you, than a cliché, like me.” 

She raised one eyebrow and then broke into a fit of laughter. I liked the way her eyes closed and little dimples suddenly appeared in her cheeks as she laughed. Honestly, I couldn't understand why those kids had mocked her for her appearance. She was so cute.

Still smiling, she turned her face forwards. Curiously, the quietness that suddenly filled the place didn't feel weird. In fact, I tried to remember if I had ever felt this comfortable around someone before. 

“So… what did you do to make those boys stop bullying you?" 

The silence didn't bother me, and apparently didn't bother her either, but I wanted to keep on talking to her.

"Well, they used to say I looked like a stray cat, right? Then I did exactly what a stray cat would do.”

“And that would be...?”

“I scratched their faces.” She tried to sound nonchalant, but her eyes showed just how proud she was. "Now they don’t bully me anymore, they _fear_ me. This is way better, you should try it.”

I giggled as I pictured the scene of that girl scratching their faces. 

_That girl…_

I realized I still didn't know her name.

“I'm sorry. I haven't even introduced myself." I cleaned my hand on my pants so I could shake hands with her. "So, hi... I'm Adora." 

“Hey, Adora. I’m Catra.” Before I could even open my mouth, she added. “Yeah, I know. _Cat-ra._ Apparently my moms thought I looked like a cat too. But that's okay, at least they both are psychologists so I get free therapy to deal with my appearance _and_ this stupid name they gave me.”

I couldn't hold my laughter. “You're so funny!”

“I am?!” Once again, she stared at me as if she doubted my words. "You're the first kid who says that."

“Really?! Your friends never told you that?!”

“Uh, actually, I don’t have any friends at school. I don't like the other kids, they are annoying.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest and scowled, visibly upset. I knew exactly how she felt.

“But at least you have your moms to help you deal with them, right?”

“Yeah, my moms help me a lot—” All of a sudden, she stopped talking and cocked her head. “You mentioned my moms so casually... Don’t you think it’s weird that I have two moms and no dad?”

“No, I think you are lucky you have two moms. I wish I had at least one...” I forced a smile to try and conceal my sadness. “My parents died a couple of years ago. I live with my uncle now, he adopted me. He’s nice, but… it’s not the same, you know? I miss them so much… especially my mom.”

Usually people would give me a pitiful look before they tried and changed the subject; talking about death seemed to make most of them uncomfortable. But Catra was different, she didn't avoid the conversation.

“Really? What happened to them?"

I stared down at my hands as I answered. "Plane crash."

"Oh..." 

"Yeah… I was supposed to be on that plane too, but I got sick and so my parents had to leave me with my uncle. They had to go without me because it was an important mission. If only they had stayed, then..." My voice cracked and my eyes filled with tears. The pain caused by these memories would never go away, would it?

"I'm sorry you had to go through all this, I mean, losing both your parents at the same time… but at least you were lucky you didn't get on that plane."

"Actually..." I felt a notch in my throat, for I was about to tell her something I had never told anyone. "Sometimes I wish I were on that plane too. It's just so lonely without mom and dad…" I tried to fight back the tears and failed. "I just wish... I wish I had died t—"

The words escaped me when I felt her touch my hand and interlace her fingers with mine. That had been so unexpected and it left me so stunned my crying ceased almost immediately. But despite my shock, it felt good to hold her hand… her touch was so warm and comforting. I kept staring at our clasped fingers, trying to understand what that meant and why it had affected so much.

"When I'm sad, my moms always hug me or hold my hand." I think she felt the need to explain due to my lack of words. "At first, I didn't like it... I guess I wasn't used to people touching me. But after a while, I realized it actually made me feel better. So I thought maybe it would work for you too..."

I closed my eyes, trying to memorize not just her touch, but especially the way it made me feel. I wanted to be able to bring it to mind next time I was alone and needed someone to hold my hand. 

"Your moms are right… it does work. Thank you."

"No problem." She slowly let my hand go and looked at me regretfully. "I'm sorry I asked about your parents. I didn't want to make you sad." 

"No, it's okay. Really." I didn't mind talking about them - actually, I appreciated it. "It's good to have someone to talk to. My mom was an only child and her parents died a long time ago. My uncle is the only family I have left, but he doesn't talk much and he never mentions my father. I think he deals with his big brother's loss by pretending he never existed." I paused, suddenly feeling curious too. "What about your birth parents? What happened to them?" 

"I don't know, I’ve never met them. I heard my mom abandoned me at the hospital, right after I was born. Since I had no family, they just took me to an orphanage and I lived at that dump until last year, when my moms adopted me." 

It broke my heart to imagine a little baby, abandoned in a hospital and then taken to an orphanage. She must have felt so lonely while growing up there...

As if reading my mind, she quickly added. "Don't worry, I'm okay now. My new moms are really nice. And if I hadn't been abandoned, they wouldn't have adopted me, so… in the end, it was a good thing.”

It amazed me the fact she could find something good out of that awful situation. 

We shared a smile and then she looked up to the clock above the blackboard. 

“Okay, princess. It's time to go." She got up and offered me a hand. "You can’t spend the whole day crying in here."

I wanted to follow her, but hesitated at the thought of going out. “What if those boys start chasing me again?”

Catra smirked, her arm still stretched out to me. “Then I’ll help you scratch their faces.”

Her answer made me giggle and, feeling more confident, I finally took her hand. I couldn't explain why, but I had a feeling nothing really bad would happen as long as I had her by my side.

Still holding my hand, Catra took me to the principal's office and asked him if her friend could change to her class. He said that since I was new in town and didn’t know anyone but Catra, we could stay together... as long as we behaved. I must confess I didn't pay much attention to what he said. My mind was too focused on one word Catra had used: friend. 

Suddenly I felt a warmth inside me. 

I wasn't alone anymore. 

I had made a friend.

. . .

The following day, uncle Hordak took me to school again. As soon as he pulled the car in front of the main gate, anxiety washed over me. Just the thought I could bump into those bullies made me feel nauseous. I even considered begging him to take me back home when I saw Catra leaning on the wall next to the entrance, absently flipping through what looked like a comic book. Hurriedly, I said goodbye to my uncle and got out of the car, the idea of skipping classes already discarded.

"Hey! What are you doing out here?” I asked when I got close enough for her to hear me.

She raised her head and looked at me as if I had asked the stupidest question she had ever heard.

“I was waiting for you, dummy! I thought you wouldn’t want to come in alone, not after what happened yesterday.”

I felt a mixture of relief and gratitude, topped with astonishment. It was like she could read my mind! I wondered if friends somehow developed this kind of magical power.

“How- how did you know?”

“Duh! You princesses are so very predictable!” She touched my forehead with her index finger and laughed, then grabbed me by the hand. “Now hurry up. I don’t want to be late because you are the slowest person in the world!"

“Hey! I’m not the slowest person in the world! In fact, I'm so fast I bet I can get there before you!”

“Hah. As if!”

Catra snickered and scooted off to the class, leaving me at a disadvantage.

“Catra! Wait! You started first, this is not fair!!” 

We became inseparable from the day we met. 

Getting into that supposedly empty room on my first day at school ended up changing my whole life. I had no idea inside those walls would be the kid who would become my best friend. The girl who would be my haven, my fortress, my home. The woman who would make me feel all the incredible things I felt last night. 

She had treated me with such tenderness, had looked at me as if I was the most beautiful girl she had ever seen, had touched me almost worshipfully, had kissed me with a passion and desire I didn't even know existed. By doing all that, she stirred something in me that had been numb until then, and so for the first time my body reacted, my senses enhanced and I truly longed for someone. Now I desperately needed her touch, her skin, her lips. I wanted to dive and get lost in her again, wanted to experience and explore every inch of her.

But she wasn't here anymore.

At first, I wondered if this had been just a dream, but soon I realized it hadn't. I could feel my body sore and her scent was still in my bed sheets. And if that wasn't enough proof, I found a note she had left me:

 _“You are surprisingly less annoying when you are asleep, so I decided not to wake you up.”_ She drew a ridiculous smiling cat as her avatar. I snorted at the fact she couldn’t waste a single opportunity to tease me. The cat was cute though, I had to admit. _"I'm so sorry I had to go. You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to leave, especially after last night. I still can't believe that you said yes, that even if just for one night you wanted me the way I've always wanted you. I’ll call you tonight, hoping you will confirm this wasn't just one of my dreams. I'll miss you... Love, Catra.”_ Another avatar, now blowing me a kiss. This one was absolutely adorable.

“I'll miss you too…” I murmured, touching the paper with my fingertips the same way I wanted to touch her lips— 

_“Adora?! What the hell?!”_

My soul almost left my body as I heard Glimmer crying from the living room. I thought she and Bow would go straight to college after spending the weekend at her aunt's thermal spring. We were supposed to meet there at 8:00 so we could have breakfast together before class. I reached for my phone to check the time, wondering what she was doing home so early at— 10:36?!! 

I overslept?! I couldn't believe I overslept... _and_ missed 12 messages and 23 calls! 

The phone was in silent mode, but even so… I've always been a light sleeper, I should have heard it vibrating on my bedside table! Besides, I always woke up before 6:00 and never in my life had to set an alarm to wake me up! No wonder why Glimmer was here… she came home to look for me!

I was ready to jump off the bed, but before I could move she practically teleported to my bedroom. I blinked, paralyzed in shock. 

“Adora…" Her tone was suspicious, her eyes scanned me. "Mind if I ask you why you are naked?”

“Uh…” I stuttered and reflexively pulled the blankets up. The question had caught me completely off guard. I didn’t even have time to fully process what happened last night, let alone think of an explanation for my lack of clothes. “I, uh… I decided to, um, sleep like this…? Is there a problem?”

“Oh, no… no problem at all.” Her voice was too sweet, it terrified me. “But why would you leave your clothes in the living room, then?”

_Damn it!_

“Um… I must have forgotten there…” I shifted on the bed, bringing the blanket a little higher so as to partially hide my face.

She tapped her index finger on her mouth in false contemplation. “Huh. That's funny…” 

There it was, the sarcasm. I should have known she would never believe me. 

"Mm? What's funny?" I tried to ask casually.

“For what you say, you got home last night, took off your clothes in the living room, discarded them _on the floor of said living room_ \- panties included..." As I heard this last part, I sank a bit more in my bed, wondering if I would ever regain my dignity again, "...locked the door and left your key on the floor - as if had been slipped under the door from outside to the inside by someone else - and then you came to your room, _alone,_ because you suddenly felt like sleeping naked when it's fucking freezing outside. Is that all? Or did I miss any important detail?”

My lungs had long stopped working and I prayed the lack of oxygen would make me faint, putting me out of my misery. 

“Uh, t-that pretty much sums all up, yeah.” My voice came out muffled by the pillow I was holding against my face, just preparing myself for the final blow.

Since Glimmer didn’t say a word, I dared to take a peek at her. She had a devious little smirk that reminded me of Catra’s and she threw herself on my bed, next to me, leaning her chin on her hands.

“You had sex!” She stated rather than asked. Realizing it would be stupid to deny it, I just closed my eyes and nodded. "Oh my God, Adora! Tell me everything! Who was it?!”

Glimmer kept staring at me expectantly, like a kid in front of the TV waiting for their favorite show to start.

“I… uh…” 

“So I know them!” She declared and let out an overexcited squeak. "I know them, right?! Otherwise, you would just tell me their name!" 

I wanted to say that, _yeah, Glimmer, you do know_ **_her_ ** _._ But I should at least talk to Catra first, right? What if she didn't want me to tell anyone?

"I didn't know you were seeing someone, Adora!" Glimmer went on with a slight frown. "Why didn't you just tell us?! You know we wouldn't mind if you brought someone over!"

"I'm not, I mean… I wasn't seeing anyone… not until last night, that is..."

"So you went on _a date_ last night?!"

"No! It wasn't a date! Or... maybe it was? I don't know anymore. But it wasn't planned, I swear!"

 _"It wasn't planned?!"_ Glimmer snorted as she repeated my words. "I know you, Adora! You would never go out with someone you've just met, let alone sleep with them! God, I can't believe you lied to us! You said last night you were going to meet Ca… tra...” 

As she spoke Catra's name, suddenly the realization dawned on her and her jaw dropped. I had never seen her eyes looking so big, as if they had turned into two balloons that would detach from her face any minute and start floating in the air.

My blush and my silence must have given me away, so after having her suspicions tacitly confirmed, Glimmer jumped off the bed as quick as a sprinter starting their 100 metres solo race. With an expression that looked half-shocked, half-amused, she started bouncing and squealing almost hysterically.

“Oh my god, oh my god, OH! MY! FUCKING! GOD!!” She shut up abruptly, raised her palms in the air and then pointed a finger directly at me. "YOU! You stay right where you are! I'll be right back!"

She left before I could say I wasn't planning on going anywhere naked like that, but came back with her phone in her hands before I could even finish that thought. She had been so fast I was really starting to believe she had somehow developed the power to teleport.

Since I had no idea what she was up to, I just remained carefully still, watching her. Finally I noticed she was making a phone call, because she put it on the speaker and after just one ring Bow's voice came from the other side of the line.

_"Glimmer! Thank God you called! Did you find Adora?? Is she okay??"_

"Oh, I found her! And she's more than okay, actually." I don't know which held more mischief: her tone as she answered Bow or the wink she gave me. "You can talk to her, she's here and I've put you on the speakerphone!"

" _Adora!"_

"Uh… hi Bow." He had sounded so desperate it made me feel terribly guilty. "Sorry I made you worry."

 _"We weren't just worried, Adora! We were at the verge of panicking! You didn't show up at college this morning, nor picked up your phone when we called you! We knew something had happened because you never ignore our calls and you never skip classes! We've searched for you everywhere on the campus! Where were you?! What the hell happened to_ — _"_

"Okay, Bow! I think you've made pretty clear that we were worried about her. But you can relax now. Don't forget that stress causes hair loss." Glimmer's last sentence made him shut up immediately. "Besides, Adora had a very good reason to disappear."

_"What do you mean? What reason?!"_

"Oh, she was busy..." I could almost hear the drum roll as Glimmer made a dramatic pause, "...having sex."

Bow fell silent. Probably his brain had short-circuited, since my name linked to the word "sex" was even rarer than those comets seen every 200 years.

 _"SHE WHAT?!"_ Apparently he regained his consciousness and shrieked, making Glimmer even cover her ears. _"I didn't know you were seeing someone, Adora! Why didn't you tell us?! We are your friends! And this guy... who the hell is this guy?!"_

"What if I told you it's not a guy, Bow?" Glimmer answered for me, almost singing those words.

After another moment of shocked silence, which lasted longer this time, Bow gasped and started murmuring incoherent words. For a moment, I feared the news had really damaged his brain. 

_"No! Glimmer…"_ Now his tone had descended at least two octaves. _"Don't tell me..."_

“YES, BOW! You owe me 50 bucks!!” She cried out happily, as if those 50 bucks were worth a thousand doll—

Wait… _50 bucks?!_

What would money have to do with—

_"Damn it! I'll never bet against you ever again!"_

"You two… you bet I would sleep with Catra?!" I looked at Glimmer in utter perplexity. “But… how- how did you- I don't understand!” 

“Come on, Adora!” Glimmer shook her head, amused. “It's sooo obvious! Only you and Bow didn't notice just how in love you and Catra have always been.”

That comment knocked me out of my feet. I probably looked like a TV on _mute,_ because my lips were moving but no words came out.

 _“In my defense,”_ Bow jumped in, _“I thought they were just good friends, just like you and I!”_

“Nah, the sexual tension between then was almost palpable.” Glimmer made a dismissive move with her hand. "Even so, you thought Adora had slept with a guy! Wow! I can't believe your gaydar sucks that much, Bow!"

_"Hey! My gaydar doesn't suck! Well, at least not when it comes to boys."_

I felt like an old computer trying to run the newest and most advanced software. That didn't make any sense! Glimmer knew I was gay when I myself didn't? And she had figured out my feelings for Catra too?!

“Yeah right. Anyway, I gotta go, Bow! I'm about to make Adora tell me _everything!"_ Her finger was already on its way to end the call when we heard Bow cry out.

 _"Wait! Adora! Don't you_ dare _tell Glimmer anything before I get home! I'm on my way, so you two better wait for me!"_ He hung up, not even bothering to say goodbye.

"Guess you have about 15 minutes to shower and get ready for the questioning." Glimmer giggled as she headed to the door. "Meanwhile, I'll make some coffee and fix you something to eat. You must be starving after, you know, all the physical activities that you performed last night."

She winked at me before she left me alone and completely stunned.

“Wow…” Glimmer breathed, after I somehow managed to explain how an unexpected (and very straightforward) suggestion had awakened my feelings and made me fall right into my best friend's arms.

“So you’ve been in love with each other for years…" Bow leaned his elbow on his knees and held his face in his hands. "This is _so_ romantic!” 

“Yeah…” I smiled, embarrassed. I wasn't used to talking about this kind of thing. _Falling in love_ seemed like a distant concept to me only a few hours ago, but Bow's words had sounded so accurate. “I guess we have.” 

“Okay, there's just one thing you haven't told us." Glimmer sat straight on the couch and then leaned towards me. "How was it?? Was it good? Please spare me no details!” 

“Glimmer!" Bow chidded her. "This is too personal, you shouldn't ask for _details!"_

"Come on, Bow! Aren't you curious too? They didn't even make it to the bedroom, so it must have been _really_ good!" Then, as if recalling something very important, she parted her lips and stared at me. "Oh my God, please don't tell me you two did it _on this couch,_ where I'm sitting right now..."

"What?! No!" I let out a shocked cry, instinctively glancing at the wall to make sure we hadn't left any evidence on it.

"I'm sorry, Adora." Bow turned at me sympathetically, then back at Glimmer with a scowl.

“Okay, Bow. I know what you're going to say. And you are right." As he heard that, Bow raised a distrustful eyebrow. Glimmer went on, regardless. "I shouldn't have asked such a stupid question. It's _Catra_ we are talking about! Of course it was good! I always thought she would be amazing in bed!”

"No, Glimmer! It's not a stupid question, it's _an intrusive_ question!” Bow shook his head. "You know you don't need to talk about that, right, Adora?"

Actually, I wanted to talk about _that._

 _“You always thought she would be amazing in bed?!”_ I snorted as I quoted Glimmer. “You— you've pictured Catra in this context before?!” 

Glimmer looked at me as if I had just recited a math formula for a poetry contest. “Well, yeah. Come on, Adora, she’s super hot! It's not that surprising that girls fantasize about her.” 

_Super hot?!_ And had she just admitted she _fantasized_ about Catra?!

“Oh, I had completely forgotten Glimmer had this super crush on Catra!” Bow laughed, finding that absurdity funny for some reason.

“You had _a crush_ on Catra?!” I gritted my teeth, feeling the corner of my eyes twitch.

“Jesus, Adora! Don't you remember how I freaked out when you told us she was your best friend?? I even begged you to introduce us!"

So _that_ was the reason she had insisted I invited Catra to hang out with us?!

"I thought you were just a fan who wanted to be friends with her! I didn't know you were _into_ her!" And I didn't know why my voice had sounded so like an indignant squawk. 

"Hey, calm down! There’s no need to be jealous." Glimmer giggled and raised her palms defensively. "It was just a crush."

_Jealous?! Who was jealous?!_

"I’m not jealous!" I stated and then tried to sound as nonchalant as I could. "But I need to ask you a question - not because I'm jealous, because I'm _clearly_ not - I'm just curious: did you, like, make a move on her or something?" 

Judging by how hard Bow was trying to suppress his giggles, I had failed at sounding indifferent. But ugh, I would kill Catra if Glimmer had hit on her and she hadn't told me anything about it!

"No." Glimmer looked deep into my eyes and answered earnestly. "I would never make a move. Not after I saw the way she looked at you… _and_ the way you looked back at her. Seriously, Adora. It's hard to believe you never noticed this thing going on between you two. You were clinging to her, she couldn't take her eyes off you, you finished each other's sentences. You two were so sweet I thought I would get diabetes just by standing next to you."

"Oh…" Now, hearing Glimmer describe how Catra and I acted around each other, it _did_ sound obvious. "But Catra and I have been best friends since we were 8; until I met you guys, I had no other close friends, so I thought… I thought all best friends were like this." 

"But look at the bright side..." Bow held my hand and squeezed it lightly, trying to cheer me up, "you fell in love with your best friend and she is in love with you too! It couldn't be better than that, right?"

Actually, it could. If I had realized it sooner, we could have spent more time together, we could have talked about our feelings face to face. Now she's so far away and I have no idea when we will see each other again.

“Glimmer…" I lowered my head, still feeling stupid for being so oblivious. "If you noticed I was in love with her, then why didn’t you say anything? Why didn't you bring that up?"

"Uh, that's actually my fault, Adora..." Bow answered with an apologetic smile. "Glimmer wanted to ask you about it, but I talked her out of it." 

"You did?! But why?"

"Bow is traumatized." Glimmer chuckled, earning a scowl from him. "You see, we grew up together, just like you and Catra. People always said we were perfect for each other and that we would end up getting married someday. So we started to believe it was true and—"

Glimmer suddenly stopped and glanced at Bow.

 _"And...?"_ I encouraged her to go on, too curious to let it go.

"We... tried." Bow answered for her. "We tried to be together. Like, romantically."

"What?! Why am I only finding out about this now?!"

"Because we decided to pretend it never happened." Bow's cheeks went red like I had never seen before. "I mean, it's not something we like talking about. It was really, _really_ embarrassing."

"Especially because Bow couldn't, you know, get started."

"Hey!" He turned to me, pronouncing every word clearly so as to leave no doubts. "I _can_ get started! Just... not with Glimmer."

"Wow, Bow..." Glimmer smiled ironically. "I'm flattered. Thanks." 

"You know what I mean! You are like a sister to me. It was really awkward to see you with no clothes on! It didn't feel right!"

"Relax, Bow." Glimmer let out a laughter, finally dropping her feigned indignation. "It wasn't working for me either. I would have certainly stopped you, if you hadn't stopped yourself." 

My mouth hung open while my eyes ping-ponged between them. 

"Anyway..." Bow went on. "I was afraid you would end up making the same mistake Glimmer and I did. Listening to what people said almost ruined our friendship. We couldn't stare at each other for weeks after what happened." 

"And then, whenever one of us went on a date, it felt weird to talk about it with the other." Glimmer added. "Bow was my best friend. I used to tell him everything, we were always together and suddenly we became two strangers. It sucked."

"But it didn't last long." Bow smiled at her. "We realized it would be stupid to let what happened - or rather _almost_ happened - ruin our friendship. So little by little things got back to normal."

"Thankfully." Glimmer reached for his hand and returned the smile. "I don't know what I would do without you. You mean the world to me, you know that, right?"

They were cute together, really, but they looked like siblings in my opinion. I never suspected they had slept together… or sort of. Well, perceptiveness has never been my strong suit, anyway.

"Guys…" After hearing their story, something started spinning in my head. "What if the same thing happens to me and Catra? What if I mess it all up and things get weird between us?"

"It's a completely different situation, Adora! Bow and I couldn't even start it, let alone finish it! You and Catra, on the other hand… you couldn't even wait to get to the bedroom!"

"Yeah, but she's going to be away for months... I suck at short-distance relationships, I'd probably suck even more at long-distance ones."

"Hey! Don't say that! Have you ever been in a relationship with someone you truly loved?" Bow asked, but he already knew the answer. "I'm sure things will be different this time."

I snorted, suddenly feeling ridiculous for my presumption. "Why am I talking about long-distance relationships, anyway? There's so much going on in her life now, I don't even know if she _wants_ to be in a relationship with me."

"You don't know?!" Glimmer gawked at me. "Adora, please! Catra has already admitted she loves you! She always has. Of course she wants to be with you, silly."

"Glimmer is right." Bow nodded, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "You've been best friends since you were kids. I'm sure she wouldn't risk your friendship if she didn't want to be with you for real."

"But you know the more famous she gets, the more girls hit on her, right?" Glimmer noted and then added, teasingly. "Not everyone will be as respectful as I was, so you better work on this jealousy of yours."

"I'm _not_ jealous!" I grumbled, crossing my arms defensively in front of my chest. "But all those girls crying her name, trying to grab her by the arm, flirting with her... Ugh, it's so annoying!"

Okay, so _maybe_ I was a little jealous.

Glimmer just arched an eyebrow, crossed her arms and stared at me with an annoying smirk.

"Just talk to her, okay?" Bow suggested, before Glimmer could say anything. "Clear things up, see if you're really on the same page… I'm sure everything will work out just fine."

"Yeah… you're right." I smiled, feeling grateful for all the support. "Thank you, guys. I'll do that."

I tried to occupy myself as best as I could: cleaned my room, organized my drawers, worked out for 2 hours straight… Even so, time crawled like a snail.

After I got home and took a shower, I went to the living room where Bow and Glimmer were watching TV. Her head was resting on his shoulder as he absently played with her hair. My mind wandered as I imagined myself doing the same with Catra, my fingers running through her soft hair, my nails scratching her scalp lightly, making her shiver, then she straddling me and kissing my lips, while I—

God, now I was fantasizing about her! I needed to focus on something other than Catra while I waited for her. 

Why was she taking so long to call me?

"Hey, what's wrong?" Bow asked as soon as his eyes laid on me. "You look troubled."

"It's just... Catra said she would call me tonight, but she hasn't called yet. What if she changed her mind and doesn't want to talk about last night?"

"Adora," Glimmer raised her head with the sole purpose of giving me a pointed look, "it's 6:30, it's barely night. Just relax, okay? She's probably busy rehearsing and all, but I'm sure she will call as soon as she gets the chance."

"Yeah. You're right..." I knew she was, yet that didn't make my anxiety diminish the slightest. 

"Why don't you stay here with us until she calls, uh?" Bow suggested. "The movie has just started."

"Thanks, guys… I think I'll just stay in my room, reading or something." 

"Will you be okay by yourself?" Glimmer raised an eyebrow. "You don't need to freak out alone. We are here for you, you know that."

"I won't freak out. Or at least...I'll try not to. But thanks. You guys are the best."

"If you need anything, we'll be right here, okay?" Bow winked and smiled warmly. 

I thanked them again and went back to my room. As I closed the door behind my back, I saw my bed and flashes of last night started blinking unwittingly in my mind. I could almost feel the taste of Catra's lips and her hands running so delicately over my skin. I remembered the soft noises she had made, the way she had cried out my name and how she had made my body feel like fireworks, flying high into the sky before exploding and shattering into thousands of sparks.

After we collapsed into each other’s arms, completely exhausted, I wanted to ask her what would happen next… I mean, I didn't want to get ahead of myself, but I honestly had no idea of the pace for a romantic relationship that had started between two people who already knew each other so well and loved each other as much as we did.

Unfortunately, I fell asleep before I had the chance to bring the subject up.

I knew Catra would never do anything that could hurt me, I knew she would never neglect my feelings nor risk our friendship. What really scared me was: me. I was an expert at failing relationships and making people lose their interest, so I feared I would end up ruining everything. 

And then… there was this newly found jealousy of her and the fact I suddenly couldn't control myself anymore when I was around her. Overnight, I had developed this desperate need to kiss and feel and breathe her until she saturated all my senses and imprinted herself on my skin. I didn’t recognize myself anymore, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but the novelty of this... the intensity of my feelings for her… it all overwhelmed me.

I wanted to talk to her so much, but I had no idea what to say now. Should I suggest we just forget about last night? Should I tell her that I wanted her more than anything in the world and dive head first into this? Should I say I didn't regret what we did, but didn't want a long-distance relationship because I _knew_ I would screw it up? Should I get on the first plane and flight to where she was?

I shut my eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to let the air out of my lungs in a slow, controlled exhale. I needed to clear my mind and ease my thoughts, which were currently spinning madly in my head.

Glancing at my bedside table, my eyes found the note Catra had left me. I smiled at her words and at that ridiculously cute avatar. Catra was so good at expressing her feelings, while I, on the other hand...

The sound of an email notification came from my computer, interrupting my thoughts. Since I had nothing better to do for the time being, I decided to check it. As I read the subject, I realized it was just an advertising email forwarded by the university to all students. I was about to hit delete when something caught my attention.

_Writing contests for fiction writers. Real cash prizes and career-advancing opportunities!_

For some unknown reason, those words stirred something in me. I've always wanted to express myself through writing, but I have never been good with words. I bought a diary years ago and never even filled one single page; whenever I tried to put my thoughts on paper, I would get terribly stuck. 

But maybe… maybe I could try it with fictional characters? Maybe imagining myself as someone else and writing a story about this person would do the trick. I could talk about my flaws without feeling too exposed and I could work on developing my character the way I wanted to develop myself in real life. 

Or maybe - and most probably - this was just me, filling my big head with stupid ideas to make me stop thinking about Catra.

_Catra…_

Again, I read the note she left me. Her cat avatar winking and blowing me a kiss looked cuter the more I stared at it. I knew Catra would encourage me if I talked to her about writing stories. She always said I should try and do different things, try new hobbies, so eventually I would find something I was truly passionate about. Instead, I've been doing the same things, the same way, over and over again. I thought I just liked being in my comfort zone, but it turns out the comfort zone isn't that comfortable after all. Last night taught me that much. By making that suggestion almost casually, Catra not only turned my life upside down, she showed me that going with the flow had taken me nowhere, it had only held me back.

But not anymore.

I had no expectations of winning this contest. Even if I started writing right away, I certainly wouldn't finish it before the deadline for submissions. Besides, I have never written a story in my whole life - I would have to start from scratch. 

And I would.

I sat in front of my computer and started typing. Surprisingly, I felt inspired like never before and words came easily to me. My ideas started taking shape, making the story magically unfold before my eyes. 

I knew it was just a small accomplishment. What I had written so far wasn't good enough for other people to read, but the feeling of creating something, giving life to what was only inside my head until then, it truly fascinated me. 

I came out of this trance only when I heard my phone vibrating and Catra's picture appearing on the screen, making my breath catch in my throat. 

Without even thinking, I touched the green button and brought the phone to my ear. I didn't even have time to panic. 

Not until I heard her voice, that is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been interesting (and challenging) writing from two different POV in the same story. I had never tried this before. I hope you can see the difference between Catra and Adora’s personalities as I switch between them.  
> And I also hope you are enjoying it so far.  
> Next chapter they are finally going to talk about “last night”! :)


	6. My One and Only

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Sorry it took me so long to update, but here I am!  
> And it’s time to talk. 
> 
> This is from Adora’s POV.

"Hey..."

_"Hey, Adora..."_

As I heard her say my name in my ear, even over the phone, my heart raced like an airplane starting its take-off run. Apparently my every cell had become hypersensitive to Catra and now my whole body responded even to the slightest stimulus.

I waited for her to go on and she probably waited for me to say something, so an awkward silence fell upon us. In all these years that we’ve known each other, this had never happened before, which only proved things had really changed. 

They couldn't remain the same, could they?

_"Uh, sorry I didn't call you earlier,"_ Catra broke the silence, her voice sounding a little tense, _"today was hell."_

"What happened? Is everything okay?" 

_"Yeah, don’t worry. It’s just lack of sleep, combined with a lot of turbulence during the flight,"_ I knew she hated both things, _"then problems related to our hotel reservation, to Kyle's keyboard and, most of all, to my ability to focus on anything because all I could think of was you."_

After Catra’s straightforward statement, it took a moment until my lips recovered their ability to form words.

"I couldn't stop thinking of you either..."

_"Really?!”_ I found the elation in her tone adorable. _"Damn it, I wish we didn’t have to talk about last night over the phone…”_

As she mentioned _last night,_ my throat tightened, making me swallow audibly. She hadn't exactly brought up the matter and I was already freaking out.

_"You are freaking out right now, aren't you?"_

Sometimes I hated how well she knew me, how even the most subtle change in my tone or the slightest hesitation never went unnoticed. 

"I think I am..." Lying to Catra would be pointless, she always could see right through me. 

_"Talk to me, Adora..."_

I opened my mouth, but no words came out. My feelings for her had braided with my fears and insecurities, creating a rope that seemed to be squeezing my lungs, making it hard for me to breathe, let alone speak.

_"It's okay if you regret it…"_ She tried to sound as if this possibility didn't hurt her, but I knew it did. I guess she just wanted to make things easy on me in case I considered last night a mistake. _"I just need to know how you feel about it..."_

"Of course I don't regret it! I told you I wouldn’t. It's just that…" Many thoughts danced inside my head, confusing me to the point I couldn't even reason. I felt so frustrated for not knowing how to express myself and so my eyes filled with tears, because this turmoil inside me had to come out somehow. "I want to talk to you, but... you know I'm not good at talking about this kind of thing."

Well, “not good” was an understatement. Whenever I tried to voice my feelings, I felt like a sumo wrestler trying to dance ballet.

_"Don't overthink. Just close your eyes, Adora… and talk to me as if you were talking to your best friend."_

Her last sentence made me chuckle despite my nervousness. Under normal circumstances, talking about my feelings, even with my best friend, was so difficult... but under _these_ circumstances, it verged on the impossible.

"I don't even know where to start..."

_"Usually people start from the beginning, but you can start from wherever you want."_

"Right. Okay. The beginning, then." I closed my eyes like she had suggested and inhaled deeply, trying to organize my thoughts. Realizing they were completely jumbled, like a 10,000-piece puzzle fresh out of the box, I gave up and decided to say the first thing that came to mind.

"I met someone…" My brain might have taken the word _beginning_ literally and so it loaded the memory of the day we met, “...11 years ago.” 

Catra chuckled. _"That’s like most of your life, isn’t it?”_

"It is... and over the years, without even noticing it, she became my…" I stopped for a moment, trying to find a word that could describe what she meant to me, because _best friend_ obviously wasn't enough anymore, "she became my _everything."_

By the way she inhaled, I knew my choice of words had caught her off guard.

_“I bet you mean a lot to her too.”_ She paused for a moment, then added softly. _“More than you could possibly imagine.”_

"Actually, I had a glimpse of it... last night." 

_"So…”_ She cleared her throat and I wondered if she was as nervous as I was, because Catra rarely hesitated. _“You wanna tell me what happened last night?"_

I had to admit that talking _to_ her, _about_ her, but pretending she _wasn’t_ her, helped a lot. I decided to stick with that.

"Last night…" How should I put it? _She threw my life in a blender and pressed the start button? She shook my whole world like a 9.5-magnitude earthquake? She made me lose control of my thoughts, my body, my entire self?_ "Last night... she said something that made me realize I had feelings for her… more than just friendship, I mean. And then she kissed me and she made me _feel_ things, she made me _do_ things— uh… not, like, literally _made_ me do, because I wanted to do those things, I just had never done them before so I… uh..."

Her laughter saved me from embarrassing myself further. _"Good to know she didn't force herself on you."_

"No! She would never do such a thing. She is too sweet and too respectful. In fact, she's just… perfect." As I said the word that summed up what I thought of her, reality struck me like a baseball hitter. "She's perfect, but I… I'm not. I’m far from perfect. And I can't shake off the feeling that sooner or later - possibly sooner - I'm gonna ruin everything, including our friendship! And I... I can't lose her. I just can't! So now I'm scared and confused and she's so far away and I don't know what to do with all these feelings inside me and I don't even know what _she_ wants and I'm probably not even making any sense right now and I… I… Ugh, Catra, please say something!"

_"Damn, I wanna kiss you..."_

The way she breathed those words made me shiver and even forget about my little panic attack. In fact, the moment she said she wanted to kiss me, all I could think was her fingers tangling in my hair as she pressed her body against mine, as her lips claimed mine, because I knew—

"I would want more than just a kiss..." 

...

I froze in complete shock. Had my lips really betrayed me and voiced my thoughts out loud?!

A long exhale on the other side told me that _yes._ I definitely had.

_"Please don't say that again, Adora… I'm this close to throwing it all to the wind and getting on the first plane to Brightmoon."_

I smiled while trying to pretend I wasn’t utterly embarrassed by my previous statement. "I wish you could do that, but I would feel terrible if you ruined your dream just because you wanted to see me."

_"My dream..."_ Catra murmured and then went silent, as if pondering her next words. _"Adora, there’s something I need to confess. What happened between us… well,_ **_this_ ** _was actually—"_ She stopped as someone knocked on the door. _“Ugh, hang on a sec.”_

_“Sorry, I forgot my keycard... again. But don't mind me! I'll be with the boys for a while, I came back just to get my phone charger.”_ I recognized Lonnie’s voice immediately.

_“Okay… go ahead.”_ Catra said to her, but didn’t resume our talk, probably waiting for Lonnie to leave first. Since Lonnie didn’t seem to be in a hurry, Catra spoke again in a slightly annoyed tone. _"Could you please make it quick? I'm in the middle of something here."_

_“Oh, sorry! I thought you were talking to Adora...”_ Lonnie lowered her voice, but I could still hear her. 

_“It_ is, _Adora.”_ And I could picture Catra scowling and gritting her teeth at Lonnie’s snooping.

_"Is it really her?!"_ Lonnie asked, skeptical. _"You know you don't need to lie to me, right?"_

_"What?! Why would I lie about that?!"_ Now Catra sounded not only annoyed but also offended. _"Of course it's Adora, who else would it be?!"_

_"Easy, Catra! I didn't mean to upset you."_ Lonnie said in her defense. _"I'm just worried about you, you've been acting weird. And since you never stop talking to Adora when I'm around, I thought you were talking to that girl you hooked up with. Anyway, I just want you to know that you can talk to me about her and I won't tell the others if you don't want me to.”_

Lonnie went on with her speech, but my brain had crashed at the words "that girl you hooked up with". What girl was Lonnie talking about? Catra hadn't told me anything about any girl. Her flings had never been a secret to me, she always mentioned when she went out with someone… But had she—

_“What the hell are you talking about, Lonnie?!”_

That was an excellent question and I could hardly wait to hear Lonnie’s answer.

_“Come on, Catra! That girl who made a_ huge _impression on you! The one you said it was not a fling…?”_

Finally Catra seemed to get it. _“Oh…_ that _girl…”_

So... if Catra knew what Lonnie was talking about, then it was true. There was a girl. At the realization Catra had been keeping things from me, my stomach twisted and I felt a horrible taste in my mouth, as if I had just drunk a shot of vinegar. I couldn't believe she was seeing someone… Catra never went on second dates, but for what Lonnie had said, this girl was an exception.

_"Have you told Adora you've finally found someone who could hold your attention for more than one night?"_ Loonie teased, adding after a quick laughter. _"Oh, that was a stupid question. Of course you did. Adora is your best friend, she gets to know everything firsthand—"_

Without even thinking, I hung up.

As I stared at the phone in my hand, I tried to rewind to what Catra was saying when Lonnie interrupted us. She told me she had a _confession_ to make. What would it be? Was she going to admit she was dating a girl she had never mentioned before? Or that she didn't want to be with me because she had someone else? 

_That_ made sense. Why would she want to be with me, anyway? Catra had tons of pretty girls who would give anything for a fraction of her time. Girls who were more interesting and certainly more experienced than me. Even so, I never thought she would get attached to any of them, she always said she didn't want a girlfriend because her career was her priority.

But if Catra had told Lonnie this girl was _not_ just a fling, then—

My phone rang, interrupting my thoughts. I should have anticipated Catra would call me again.

_"Hey, did you just hang up on me??"_

My response resumed to a heavy exhale through my nostrils, which I hoped illustrated my disgust.

_"Adora… are you upset about what Lonnie said? Because if you are, you should know that this girl she mentioned is actually—"_

"I get it, Catra. You don't need to explain." I realized it would be too painful to hear her talking about another girl, so I just cut her off before she had the chance to start. 

_"You get it?! Wow, that's a relief! For one sec, I thought—"_

"Actually, no. I don't get it. I don't get it _at all!”_ I hated myself for not keeping my mouth shut and blurting it all out instead. “Why didn’t you tell me?! Why did you keep this from me?! Don't you think I should have known about that?!"

_"Adora, what are you—"_

"And now I just found out that you are, what?! Dating some girl you've never mentioned before?!"

_"What?! Are you serious?!"_

I didn’t bother answering her and just went on like a plane in free fall. 

_"If I knew you were seeing someone, I would have never— I mean, we would have never— Ugh! I’m so fucking stupid!"_

_"Damn, Adora, I'm not— Wait!"_ She paused abruptly. _“Did you just swear?! I had never heard you swear before!"_

Of all the things I said, she decided to focus on _that?!_

"Yes, because I’m so mad right now! I should have known about this girl before last night, but instead, I had to find out from Lonnie that you are dating someone! God, I can’t believe I'm—"

_"Such an idiot?"_

I huffed and hung up again. After seeing how upset I was, she had the nerve to laugh at me and call me an idiot?! 

However... it wasn’t like Catra to disregard my feelings, so maybe I should have let her explain. I was just so out of my mind I couldn't—

**(22:19) Catra:  
**okay I'm gonna call u again but this time u gotta let me speak

I read the message preview, but before I could tap the notification, the phone vibrated in my hand. This time Catra made a FaceTime call. Right now, the last thing I wanted was to look her in the face, so I don't even know why I accepted it.

“Jesus, Adora! I can’t believe you hung up on me _twice_ in less than 5 minutes! And I also can’t believe you swore! You actually swore!" Her expression was both shocked and amused. "I never thought I would live to see that.”

“Catra, if you are going to—”

“Oh no! You don't get to talk, it’s my turn now. I won’t let you start babbling and jumping into stupid conclusions again. And they were, like, _really_ stupid, Adora! Come on! Do you seriously believe I would sleep with you if I was seeing someone else?! I'm not a cheater. And most importantly, it's _you._ I would never do that to _you."_

Was I so blinded by jealousy I just forgot who she was and lashed out at her unreasonably? 

I turned my face away from the phone, staring at anything but the camera, trying to reason. "But I thought… I mean, Lonnie said—"

"Okay. Look at me." She waited until I swallowed my shame and did what she asked. "Lonnie was talking about _you,_ idiot! She just doesn’t know it’s you. I haven’t told them about us, didn’t know if you wanted me to… But Lonnie noticed I didn't get much sleep last night and so she asked if I was _messing around with a new fling_ \- you know how nosy Lonnie can be. When I told her it was _not_ a fling, she wrote a whole fanfiction in her head about me and this _mysterious girl.”_

“Oh…” 

As I heard her explanation, I came to hate video talks, because I could see my own face and how ridiculous I looked right now. My cheeks had flushed red while I inexorably mimicked a fish, my mouth opening and closing repeatedly with no words coming out of it.

"There's no one else, Adora." She sighed tiredly. "There's never been. And _if_ there was, do you seriously believe I wouldn’t have told you?! You’re my best friend!"

I didn't know what to say, so I just lowered my head, wishing I could dig a hole in the ground and bury myself in it. Catra never gave me a single reason to distrust her; yet, I treated her like she had been deliberately lying to me. 

"I'm really, _really_ sorry. I don't know what I was thinking…" Actually, I wasn't thinking, I was just reacting irrationally. "This is our first talk after what happened and what did I just do?! I picked a fight with you! And we never fight, Catra. Ever. That only proves I'm already ruining everything!"

"No." She shook her head. "You’re not ruining anything, Adora. I know how overwhelming this can be: my confession, the fact that you slept with a girl for the first time - who happened to be your best friend, by the way - then all these newly found feelings... Trust me, my head would be whirling too.”

"But that doesn’t mean I can accuse you of things you didn’t do and not even let you explain!”

She smiled and I knew she would have reached for my hand and squeezed it if she could. “Just take your time to process what happened, okay? And if you decide it's best for you to forget about last night, I... I'll understand. We’ll be fine, I promise."

"You would be _okay_ with it?!" That didn’t make any sense. If she liked me, then how would she be okay if we didn’t get together after what happened?

"Yeah, I mean... I’ve always dreamed about you, always imagined what it would feel like to be with you. Though I had already convinced myself nothing would ever happen between us, it did... it happened. Last night you wanted me, you _really_ wanted me, the same way I’ve always wanted you. So how could I ask for more when you already made my dream come true?"

_Her dream..._ Was this the confession she was about to make when Lonnie interrupted us? That being with me was one of her dreams? Even so, I needed to know exactly what she wanted. Instead of making stupid assumptions like I did a few minutes ago, this time I decided to ask openly.

"But would you _want_ more? I mean, more than just one night?"

She gave me a quizzical look. “Do you have any doubts?!"

"Actually, I do. You've said multiple times you didn’t want a girlfriend. And that’s understandable, there are so many girls fawning over you... Why would you settle for just one when you always got any girl you wanted?"

_“I always got any girl I wanted?!”_ She scoffed. "You’re the living proof that’s not true! And just so you know: I would definitely settle for just one girl, Adora, if that girl was _you._ So now that you've finally looked my way, why would I keep on having meaningless dates when I could actually be with the girl I've always been in love with?"

I smirked, trying to act as if her last words hadn't made me melt. "Wow. Last night I heard you say _make love_ and now _the girl I've always been in love with._ This doesn't sound like the Catra I know. Since when did you stop being a heartbreaker and became such a romantic?"

"Oh, shut up."

She tried to scowl, but her grin already occupied most of her face. As I looked at her, smiling and giving me a slow blink, I was engulfed by a wave of affection. This has happened many times before, but whenever I tried to see in this sea of emotions, my vision got blurry as it does when you open your eyes underwater. This time though, I could see clearly as if I had dived wearing swimming goggles. And after I finally understood the depth of my feelings for her, I realized I had kept them inside me for too long. They had to come out. 

"I— I also have a confession to make..." I closed my eyes and just tried to convey with words this secret that I kept even from myself, for so many years. “I spent a lot of time thinking about what happened last night, about the way I’ve always felt about you, about this inexplicable connection we’ve had since the day we met. I don't know how I could be so blind, but what I _do_ know is that I… I love you. I always have. And not just as my best friend, Catra... Now I can see it’s _way_ more than that." 

I had said that I loved her before, but never with this conscious understanding of everything she meant to me. And, honestly, it surprised me how my words had flowed so naturally, like petals falling from a cherry blossom tree in early April, coloring the soft wind that would take them to Catra's ears.

But my words had such a big impact that Catra looked like she had been hit by a hurricane instead of a breeze. Her smile faded, giving room for an almost shocked expression. For a moment, she went completely still, as if the image had frozen on the screen. However, it didn't take long until her grin returned, wider than ever. 

"So, if you love me, and not just as a friend... does that mean that you want to be with me? Like, for real?!”

I knew my smile had already answered the question, but I found absolutely adorable the way she could barely contain herself while she waited for my oral response. “Yeah. Like, for real."

“Oh my god!” She looked like someone who had just won the lottery, incredulous and extremely elated at the same time. She even started pacing up and down the room as she talked. “Okay. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable and I definitely don't want you to freak out about any of this, so… we can take things slowly, if you want to."

"Take things _slowly?!"_ I raised an eyebrow, staring at her in amused disbelief. "Is that even possible after last night?!"

"Um, that's a very good point.” She chuckled and I could swear her cheeks had turned a little pink. “We _might_ have skipped a few steps, but what I mean is: maybe we should forget about labels until you get used to the idea of being in a relationship.”

“I think it's a good idea. This way I won't have to worry about ruining _two_ relationships with you. But... are you really okay with it?"

"Yeah, sure. I can wait until you’re ready.”

However, due to my lack of experience, I needed to know what rules applied to this kind of arrangement. “Okay, but is there a name for this? Because if we're not dating yet, then what exactly are we doing in the meantime?” 

“Mm, I don’t know…” She tapped a finger on her lips, pretending to give it some thought. “Getting to know each other before we make it official?"

_"Getting to know each other?!"_ I snorted with laughter. "After all these years, don't you think we already know each other pretty well?"

"No." Her expression changed, her eyes narrowing at me and one corner of her mouth turning up. "I still don’t know everything about your body. But I’m gonna find out all the ways you like to be touched and all the places you like to be kissed, one by one.”

My face blushed so red it made my lips look pale. "Oh."

Catra didn’t even try to suppress a laugh. "Do you have any idea how cute you look when you get all flustered like this?"

"Catra!" I gritted my teeth. "I can’t believe you said that only to embarrass me!"

"Hey, that's not true!" This time she stared at me seriously. "I mean it, Adora. I can hardly wait to feel you and taste you again."

Her husky voice and the way she gazed at me made my body heat up so fast, as if a bonfire had been lit in my room. Needless to say, the memory of her literally touching me and tasting me in here only added more fuel to this fire. 

"I can't believe we still have three weeks ahead of us." I breathed, trying not to sound too desperate to see her again.

"Uh, about that..."

"No!" My room went from burning to freezing the second I read her mind. "Please don't tell me you're not coming home for your birthday..."

"I'm _so_ sorry, Adora..." 

"But we always celebrate your birthday together..." I practically whined, unable to hide my frustration. 

I thought we would spend months without seeing each other, then I recalled her birthday was coming and that had lightened my mood considerably. The possibility she wouldn't be here this year hadn't crossed my mind until now.

For many reasons, Catra’s birthday was special to me. To begin with, before I met her I didn't even know what a birthday party was. I didn't have any friends and uncle Hordak didn't like celebrations; on my birthdays he would give me a present and then we would have my favorite burger for dinner. And that was it.

But Perfuma and Scorpia were so excited that her daughter had made a friend that they decided to throw Catra a birthday party that year. Catra didn't like the other kids, so she told her moms she would invite only three people to her party: them, obviously… and me.

I don't remember much from when I was 8, but I've relived that day in my mind so many times I even memorized the dialogues. At first, I thought the absence of my parents would hurt even more once I saw Catra and her moms together. But the second I stepped inside their home, Scorpia picked me up in her arms and hugged me, while Perfuma looked at me in the same affectionate way my mom used to. Being around a real family got me extremely emotional so I spent most of the afternoon fighting back my tears. For some reason, I lost the fight just when I took the first bite of the cake. The three of them looked at me worriedly, but I couldn't find the words to explain how happy I was and how much being with them meant to me. I started panicking at the possibility they would never invite me to their home again because I had just ruined Catra's birthday party, and so I explained my strange reaction with the first (and unfortunately most ridiculous) excuse that came to my mind: the cake was so good it made me cry. Scorpia and Perfuma’s expressions left me no doubts they didn’t buy it, but instead of forcing the truth out of me, they just hugged me and said they were happy I was part of their family now. Needless to say, I cried even harder after that. 

Catra, on the other hand, still hadn't mastered the ability to read my mind so she took my words literally. And since _Adora had liked that cake so much to the point of crying,_ she made Scorpia swear she would bake that same cake every year on her birthday... and on mine too.

Catra told them I had never had a birthday party and so Scorpia and Perfuma promised me the day would never go by unnoticed again. That’s how my birthday went from an ordinary day to the second most special day of the year. Catra's birthday was on the top of the list not only because she was the most important person in my life, but also because it was when she gave me the thing I wanted the most, the best gift I could possibly have: a new family. And so the four of us together (and Scorpia's vanilla cake) became a sacred tradition to me… one that apparently would be broken this year. 

"Trust me, Adora. I hate this as much as you do…" Catra's words brought me back to the present. "I almost killed Mermista when she showed me the schedule. We have shows the day before _and_ the day after my birthday, both in Meadowlands. It's too far from Brightmoon and there’s only one flight a day. I would never make it back in time for the show..."

"I see…" 

"I know how much our birthdays mean to you and I hate myself for letting you down." She looked truly disappointed, maybe as much as I did. “But hey… I’ve already made Mermista promise she'll let me take a break after this round of shows because there’s no way in hell I’m gonna miss _your_ birthday.”

_“My_ birthday?! But, Catra, my birthday is two months from now... Does that mean you’re not coming home before January?!” 

She sighed and shook her head slowly. “Look, I _swear_ I’m gonna make it up to you, okay?”

“You don't have to make it up for anything… It's not your fault." I knew it wasn’t. I had no doubt she would come home if she could, and that's why I tried to pretend I wasn't so devastated. I didn't want to make her feel guilty for something that was beyond her control. “So, in that case, could you send me the address of your hotel in Meadowlands? I got you something for your birthday and I would like to have it delivered on the exact day.”

“You already bought my present?!” She feigned surprise. “Wow, that’s so Capricorn of you.”

Catra didn't even believe in horoscopes, but for some reason she loved to tease me about that. “This has nothing to do with my sign. You know me, I just like to plan things in advance to avoid unforeseen circumstances, that's all.”

“You know you've just described a Capricorn, right? But sure, when I find out where we are staying, I’ll text you with the address.”

“Thanks…” I tried to smile and ignore the fact that I would have to wait two months to see her again. 

It seemed this long distance _non-relationship_ would be more difficult than I had anticipated, but for completely different reasons.

Despite her tight schedule, Catra managed to shower me with attention. We exchanged text messages throughout the day and talked over the phone almost every night. That’s when I learned that video calls could be extremely painful: seeing her on the screen made me miss her more. But at the same time, spending days _without_ seeing her would drive me insane so we had to resort to FaceTime sometimes.

Also, Catra had developed a habit of sending me photos of pretty much everything: the places she met, the foods she tried and even the parties she had to attend after the shows. I must admit that all this attention made me feel loved and also helped me ignore all those annoying girls who tried to flirt with her on a daily basis.

The only thing bothering me, actually, was the fact that everything seemed to last longer than usual, like this class I had to attend today. Though college has never been the most exciting thing in my opinion, I had never had problems with concentrating on my studies. But that changed ever since Catra turned my life upside down, because my mind got too busy with my _non-girlfriend_ and our _non-relationship_ for me to focus on anything else. 

Coincidentally, my phone vibrated with a message notification from her.

**(15:41) Catra:  
**choosing a new outfit for some promo pics. what about this skirt? I’ll only buy it if u think I look hot on it

In the photo, I saw Catra in a fitting room, wearing a plaid skirt that went just above her knees, looking amazing as she always did. 

**(15:42) Adora:  
**You look hot in anything, you know that. Loved the skirt, though. You should definitely buy it! 

Only after I sent the message, something occurred to me.

**(15:42) Adora:  
**Hey, what about this crop top you're wearing? 

**(15:44) Catra:  
**what? u don’t like it?

**(15:45) Adora:  
**I do, but the fabric is so thin, you're practically naked!

**(15:47) Catra:  
**omg you make it sound like I've just sent u a nude

**(15:49) Adora** :  
Well, judging by your crop top, it looks like you just did!

Catra didn’t reply immediately, so I wondered if my comment had upset her. Obviously I would never tell her what she should or shouldn't wear, even if her choice of clothing included a tiny little crop top too revealing for my taste (that looked great on her, I had to admit).

I unlocked my phone to send her another message and make that clear, but I got one from her before I even started typing.

**(15:56) Catra:  
**okay, since u clearly don’t know what a nude is, allow me to enlighten u

I had barely finished reading the message when she sent another pic. In this one, Catra had taken off her top, her skirt... _and her bra!_ As if all my brain cells had gone on strike, my lungs stopped working, my lips fell off and my eyes glued to the screen. It was a changing room selfie and Catra bit her lower lip, while her free hand grabbed the hem of her panties and pulled it down a little, so I could almost see her—

"Oh my god!" I choked and suddenly all eyes were on me. The professor gave me a pointed look, making it clear that I was disturbing the class, so I decided I should just leave. If I was having trouble paying attention before, after seeing Catra practically naked I knew for sure I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything for the rest of the day. 

I fumbled with my phone as I tried to lock the screen, then picked up my backpack and headed to the exit, bumping into some people on my way out and trying to ignore their scowls. As if I hadn't embarrassed myself enough, all the books in my hand fell down when I tried to open the door, the repeated sound resonating throughout the silent place like a gun fired a couple of times. 

I decided not to look at my professor nor my classmates, otherwise I would never have the courage to come to this class again.

Once I got outside with what little dignity I had left, I picked up my phone to send Catra a text. However, the first thing I saw after I unlocked the phone was her half-naked body. It took me a moment to muster all my strength and close the photos app so I could send her a message.

**(16:08) Adora:  
**Catra! Next time you decide to _enlighten_ me, please warn me first! You caught me so off guard I had to leave the classroom!

My phone rang after five seconds.

_“‘Next time?’ Mmm. Does that mean you want me to send you another nude, Adora?”_ She paused for a second, as if waiting for me to answer. But since my only response was to splutter, she burst out laughing. _“Wow, I would have given anything to see you getting all flustered in the middle of class!”_

“That’s not funny, Catra! What if someone else saw it?!” I checked both sides to make sure no one would hear me, then added in a whispered hiss. "You’re practically naked in that pic!"

_“Oh, I wouldn't mind.”_

“But I would!" I refrained from confessing I didn't want anyone but me to see her without her clothes on, though my jealousy had probably seeped into my words and made that pretty clear.

_“Well, then you can just delete it if you—”_

“No!” I was flabbergasted at my quick, emphatic answer. “I mean, uh… You look good. It would be a shame if I just deleted it.”

She hummed again. _"So you liked what you saw, princess?"_

"Of course I did..."

_"Good. Because I can hardly wait for_ you _to strip me off my clothes and— Ugh, hang on. Lonnie is coming."_ Her voice went from lustful to annoyed as she talked to Lonnie. _"Hey, can I call you later? Apparently Mermista is freaking out because we have an interview in like 15 minutes and I’m not ready yet. Jesus, that woman needs to relax. I swear I can hear her groan from here and we're not even in the same building."_

"Yeah… sure. Call me when you get back to the hotel."

After we said a quick goodbye, I checked my schedule to see if I had other classes to attend. 

Luckily I was free for the rest of the day, so I decided to stop at the Swordbucks near home to work on my story. I ordered a venti coffee, found a cozy table by the window and opened my laptop. 

Writing became easier after I figured out how to organize my ideas in a way that made sense, like notes on sheet music. But _right now,_ all my ideas revolved around Catra and her body. So after 20 minutes and only two sentences written, I gave up and put my laptop back in my backpack. I glanced at my phone on the table and was about to pick it up, but I knew it was better if I didn't look at that photo again, at least not until I got home. Either way, Catra’s image had already been imprinted in the back of my eyelids, so I could see her clearly even with my eyes closed.

Groaning, I grabbed my coffee and finished it on my way home.

Tonight Bow had an archery competition and Glimmer went along to cheer on him, which meant I would be home alone until 10. _Tonight,_ of all nights... when I _really_ needed a distraction because _all_ I could think of was Catra half-naked in that photo.

I threw myself on the same bed where we slept together (or rather stayed very much awake for most of the night) and unlocked my phone. For the first time on that day, I allowed myself to dive into that image, examining every inch of her, admiring just how perfect her figure was. When I touched the cold screen, I could almost feel her warmth on my fingertips instead.

Without even noticing it, I got in a sort of trance in which my other hand slid down slowly and I started to reproduce what Catra did to me that night. It felt good, not nearly as good as when she touched me, but definitely better than all my previous attempts.

My mind wandered and I pictured my hands on _her_ body instead, holding her from behind while I kissed her nape. My fingernails would lightly scratch the outside of her thighs, moving up slowly, making her shiver and moan in my ear. That would drive me insane and so I would rip her panties off, my name coming out of her mouth in a surprised gasp. Then she would tilt her head back, leaning it on my shoulder, the moment she felt my fingers teasing her on the outside. And when her legs started to weaken, she would turn around in my arms and would climb me, wrapping them around my waist and kissing me as if I was her first breath after a long dive. 

I already knew the taste of her lips, but there was another taste I could hardly wait to try. As I fantasized about that, I imagined myself kissing her neck before I began my descent, stopping on my way down only to appreciate some specific parts of her body. I would certainly keep my eyes open when my mouth finally reached its final destination, only to see the expression on her face change the second she felt my tongue and lips on her. She would squirm and moan louder this time, pressing her thighs against my ears, keeping me where she needed me the most. And I wouldn't stop until I heard her crying my name, over and over ag—

Suddenly my mind went blank and I only came out of my trance when I heard _my own_ cry of pleasure. Shocked, I realized what I had just done... something I had never managed to do until then. I didn't know how loud I had been and so I quickly checked the clock on my bedside table, letting out a breath of relief when I saw it was only 9:26 pm. Glimmer and Bow hadn't come back yet. 

Still a little amazed, I went to the bathroom and had a long, relaxing bath. After I finished, I lay on my bed again and decided to do some research for my story while I waited for Catra to call. I didn’t plan on falling asleep, but I woke up when my phone vibrated in my hand. Since I knew it would be her, I accepted the call without even looking at the screen.

"Hey..."

"Adora?"

"Mmm?"

"It's a FaceTime call. I wanna see you, not perform an otoscopic exam on you."

"Oh." I rolled to my side and looked at the front camera with a sheepish smile. "Sorry."

Her laughter quickly turned into an apologetic smile. "You should have sent me a message to let me know you were going to bed earlier. If I knew you were sleeping, I wouldn't have called you."

"Don't worry. I just dozed off. Besides, I missed you… I wanted to talk to you."

"I missed you too.” The fondness in her eyes suddenly was replaced with concern. “No wonder why you fell asleep, you look exhausted. Had a busy day?"

"Um… yeah, uh… you could say that. Yes.”

“Mmm…” Catra studied me for a moment, her eyes narrowing with suspicion. "You only hesitate and give a vague answer when I ask something you are too embarrassed to talk about. You are hiding something from me, aren't you, Adora?"

"Me?! Hiding something from you?! No, I'm _not!"_

"Yes, you _are._ And you are terrible at it, you know that. So go on, princess, spit it out."

"Ugh, sometimes I hate how well you know me!" 

She raised an eyebrow and flashed me that annoying little smirk of hers.

"Fine...” I knew she wouldn’t let it go so I relented with a groan. “So, uh… You know that photo you sent me? The one with you, um, partially undressed?"

"Oh, you mean that educational illustration that I selflessly produced to help a clueless little blonde understand what a nude was?" 

"Yeah… _that.”_ I tried not to roll my eyes. “Anyway, when I got home, I couldn't stop looking at that _educational illustration_ and it might have inspired me to… uh, you know..."

"Wait." She parted her lips and looked at me in amused disbelief. "Don't tell me you— Oh my god, Adora! I can't believe it!"

"Hey! This is all _your_ fault!" I retorted, ignoring that my cheeks looked like two emergency flares. _"You_ sent me that photo, then _you_ talked about me stripping _your clothes off,_ and it was _you_ who also suggested I think of something that turns me on! Well, guess what?! _You_ turn me on, so yeah, I did that."

She blinked a couple of times at my self-defense speech and then let out a loud, genuine laugh. "I'm not complaining, Adora! I'm flattered, actually."

"You... are?" 

"Of course! But I’m curious now. Did you manage to..."

"Yes..." I saw my face getting even redder, as if I had used ketchup instead of my facial moisturizer. "It was the first time that I actually, uh… you know… got there— by myself, I mean!” I hurriedly added. “Because I _did_ get there that night with you, more than once actually… and it's way better with you, by the way, but you were not here… and your pic was… and you look _sooo_ hot in it… like really, _really_ hot… and I'm babbling again, which means that I need you to say something to make me stop."

"Would you let me watch it next time?" 

"WHAT?!” Of all the things she could say, I never expected she would ask _that._ “Why would you want to watch such a thing?!"

"Isn’t it obvious? Just the thought of you touching yourself while thinking of me turns me on." She answered simply. 

I hadn't thought of it before, but the idea of watching her touching herself seemed pretty interesting indeed. "Well, I suppose we can try… if you let me watch you too."

The fact I didn't blush too much when adding the last part surprised me. I guess I’ve been growing more comfortable with having this kind of conversation with her. 

"Deal." She smiled, but it faltered for a moment. Enough for me to notice, though.

"Hey... What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It’s just that... I miss you. Like, _really_ miss you. And I just remembered my birthday is next Friday and for the first time we won't be together. Unless…” Her eyes lit up with anticipation, “...you can come and spend the weekend with me?" 

"There’s nothing I would want more, but..." It broke my heart the look on her face when she realized I was about to shatter her hopes, "...I have an exam on Friday. One I can’t miss."

"I see..." She sighed and then forced a smile. "Well, at least I'll get my birthday present on time, right?"

"Of course you will!" I got up off the bed and went to my desk, proudly showing her a medium sized box. "See? It's already packed, ready to be dispatched!"

She giggled as she saw the box, already wrapped up and with the hotel address written on it.

"Why am I not surprised it's ready to be sent with days in advance?" She raised a teasing eyebrow.

"Because I'm a Capricorn. You know I can’t help it." I shrugged, knowing too well that this answer would make her laugh. 

"Hey… speaking of surprises, I’ve got something for you too."

As she made that announcement, I begged her to tell me more about it, because I knew - and _she_ knew - that I wouldn't stop thinking about this _surprise_ until I found out what it was. But Catra wanted to purposefully torture me, so the only thing she said was that I should _wait for a call on Thursday night._ Ugh, I couldn't believe that she would leave me drowning in curiosity for almost a week!

When I answered that video call on Thursday night, I never expected to see Catra in the backstage while the band played _on_ the stage. That left me completely bewildered and so I just stared at her, waiting for her to say that somehow she had accidentally called me and that she would have to hang up. 

"Hey, Adora."

She didn't seem to be in a hurry though, which meant she had _really_ called me.

“Catra! What are you doing?! Shouldn't you be on the stage too?!”

“Relax. The guys are doing their solos so I'm taking a little break. I'll go back once they finish.” 

“And you wanna talk _now?!”_ She had never called me during one of her shows, so I think that explained my confusion.

“No. Actually... I just wanted you to watch me perform this next song. If that's okay with you, of course. I don't wanna get in the way, I know you have an important exam tomorrow."

She started fidgeting with her earpieces, looking nervous like I had never seen before. But I thought it was cute that she wanted me to watch her perform, so I refrained from making any comments about how unusual that was. 

“I would love to, it's been so long since I last saw you on stage. But you look a little nervous… Is this a new song or something?”

“Uh, no. It’s the opposite in fact, this is one of the oldest. But it's the first time I’ll be alone on the stage, singing and playing the piano at the same time. You know I’m not a pianist, but I’ve been practicing a lot and tonight I kicked Kyle out because I wanted to do it by myself." She bit her lower lip and glanced down. "It’s… your favorite song. And since you can't be here tonight, I thought we could at least make a video call for you to watch it.”

“That's… incredibly sweet." I thought of saying _incredibly romantic,_ but I sensed that right now she needed me to support her, not to tease her. "You’re always great on stage, you don’t need to be nervous just because you’re playing the piano this time!”

“I’m not nervous about that, actually. I’m nervous because it's going to be the first time I sing this song after telling you that I… I wrote this song for you, Adora.”

I heard her words, but I couldn't believe my ears. “What did you just say?!”

“Your favorite song… I never told you before, but I wrote that song for you, years ago. I always wondered if it was your favorite because somehow you knew…” She had that shy smile that I loved, but rarely got the chance to see. Unfortunately it didn't last long, for her expression changed when she looked at the stage. “Okay, the guys are almost finished. So, uh… would you keep me company while I sing for you?”

I nodded weakly, still trying to process everything. 

Her confession was pounding in my ears, so much so I could barely hear all the cheers and applause Catra received when she entered the stage. I watched her walk to the piano and place her phone on top of it with the help of a tripod, I presumed. For a brief moment, she stared at the keyboard, then took a deep breath and started playing. 

I've always loved this song in particular, always found it incredibly beautiful and emotional. And she wrote it for me. For _me!_ Many times I thought of asking her who had been her inspiration, but I never did because I didn’t want to hear her say another girl's name.

Was I already jealous of her back then?! 

_"Will I ever know what it feels like to hold you close  
_ _And hear you say I’m the one your heart chose  
_ _'Cause even if I'm too scared to tell you the truth  
_ _All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted was you”_

When Catra sang the last line, she stared at me in the same way she did every time I asked her to sing me this song. I always thought she looked shy and vulnerable because she was just interpreting the lyrics. But… she wasn’t. Now I knew every time Catra sang me this song, she was actually opening her heart to me. God, I couldn't believe it took me so long to see what her eyes and her music have been trying to show me all this time.

_"I wonder what you’d say, what you’d do, if you knew  
_ _I wonder if you’d stay with me if I asked you to  
_ _You’re my one and only, even if you'll never be mine  
_ _I’ll love you from afar until the end of time"_

Ever since that first night, I've asked these questions to myself. Honestly, I had no idea what I would have said and done, but what I _did_ know was that she would never have to love me from afar ever again, because all I wanted was to be with her, to hold her in my arms and never let her go. 

_"Maybe someday you’ll look my way  
_ _(And you’ll see I’ve always been here)  
_ _Maybe someday I’ll have the courage to say  
_ _(The secret that's been tearing me apart)_  
_That it has always been you, yeah you  
_ _The girl who holds my heart"_

I wasn't aware of the audience until they started singing the background vocals for Catra. Judging by her surprised expression, it was the first time they ever did that; but it made sense since Sea Hawk and Lonnie weren't there to be the backup singers. And seeing Catra so thrilled on stage only made this performance even more special to me. 

So by the time she played the last notes, tears were running freely down my cheeks. She grinned at me before the lights went out and I only knew she was still there because I could hear people cheering and crying her name in the background. 

A moment later, Catra reappeared and I could see her eyes shining even in the dim light of the backstage. "Did you see that, Adora?? They didn’t sing _with_ me, they sang _for_ me! That was so fucking amazing!! I’m so happy you were there with me to see that!”

"Catra..." A sob escaped me when I tried to speak and I could barely see her through the tears in my eyes. "That was… I mean… I don't even know what to say! I can't believe you wrote that song for me!”

“Why not? You've always been _my one and only,_ Adora. _Always._ Ever since the day we met, it has always been you.” Her words, combined with the way she gazed and smiled at me, made me feel as if a weighted blanket had just been wrapped around my heart. “I’m so glad I can finally tell you that."

The thought I couldn’t hold her and kiss her right now made me cry even harder. All I managed was: "You are _my one and only_ too, Catra.”

We couldn’t talk much, because Catra still had to come back to the stage and finish the show. But later that night, when she got back to her hotel, she called me again. 

"You know, I still can't believe you wrote that song for me!" I didn't even say hello after taking the video call.

Catra laughed and raised an inquiring eyebrow. "Who else would it be for, Adora?" 

“I don’t know… Maybe one of those annoying girls you used to date?” I joked. Or not.

She snorted with laughter as she lay on the bed. “You know I would never do that! Besides, did you even hear the lyrics?! _Your name_ is written between every line! Honestly, it's hard to believe you never noticed this song was for you."

“Yeah… I guess you’re right when you say I’m the slowest person in the world...” I let out a sigh of regret, but then decided to focus on more important things. “Hey! It’s past midnight and that means... it’s already your birthday! So... happy birthday!”

I tried to sound excited, though on the inside I was crying out of frustration. After Catra sang that song, all I wanted was to throw myself in her arms and kiss her until my lips became numb.

“It won't be so happy without you here, but thanks.”

“I’m sorry… I really wish I could—“

“Hey, I’m not trying to make you feel guilty, I know you would be here if you could. I just want you to know that I miss you.”

“I miss you too... And, to make things worse, everything here reminds me of you. Even my bed. Well, _especially_ my bed…” 

“Ugh, don’t even mention your bed…" She groaned with an exaggerated expression of pain, "...or that wall in your living room.” But the way she playfully wiggled her eyebrows after saying this last sentence made me laugh. 

“Maybe we should avoid talking about that night. It only makes the wait even more painful, don't you think?"

“Yeah, I do.” But suddenly her expression changed and her eyes focused on me like an archer aiming at a target. “That’s why you better be prepared next time I get my hands on you, princess.” 

“Mm. Is that a threat or a promise?" My attempt at flirting must have sounded ridiculous, but I did get a small amount of satisfaction from the shocked look on her face. Emboldened by her reaction and taking the opportunity in the silence that followed, I added: "Either way, I’m looking forward to it.” 

Catra shook her head, amused. “Oh my god, what did I do to you?!”

I smirked, trying to mimic her trademark. "I thought we were discussing what you are going to do to me, not what you already did.” 

She stared at me open-mouthed. “Okay, I don’t know who you are or what you did to my Adora, but... I actually like you.”

It never ceased to amaze me how comfortable she made me feel when we talked about sex, but at this point talking wasn't enough. Right now, I needed so much more than just hearing her voice...

The conversation lasted for at least another half hour and it ended the way it always did: with both of us almost crying because we missed each other.

Only three weeks had passed since that first night and now the wait hurt even physically. 

Honestly? I didn't know how I would survive another five weeks away from her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the reasons this chapter took me some extra time is because I had to write a song for it. Yeah, I couldn’t find any that fit perfectly with that scene, so I had to roll up my sleeves and get the job done. But… I’m familiar with writing stories, not songs 😅. Anyway, I really hope it's good enough.
> 
> If you have a minute, I’d love to hear your opinion about this chapter/story. I know this is probably the softest version of Catra that you’ve ever read, so I’m curious if this is working for you guys.
> 
> See you soon (hopefully). Next time it’s going to be from Catra’s POV.


End file.
